Peach Battle Gear and a Greyish White Coat
by water-lily43
Summary: Completed! 'Tis the Quifer I've been yakking about for so long! The 2nd sequel to Angel with Broken Wing... definitely not the last! How do two people who couldn't stand each other before fall in love? How have they changed to make this possible?
1. Starting Voice

Chapter 1 – Starting voice

    My name is Damien. If you've read Water Lily's previous works, you would probably know who or what I am. And I strongly suggest that you do so, for I really do not feel like explaining myself when it would essentially be a repeat of Celestine's words. Celestine who…? She's none other than the female protagonist of the above mentioned.

    Just to refresh your memory a little… we both are Angels who guard over mortals blah blah blah have to abide by our rules in Angel Land, the place where all Angels reside… and if we break them, we have our punishments.

    One day she died, I became a dark Angel and left Angel Land blah blah blah and then I fight with Zell, I lose to her (yes, her.)… she has been revived again, living happily ever after with Zell.

    Okay, one major issue you SHOULD know… I've always had a thing for Celestine, but she treats me like a Big Brother… get that.

    Enough about the mundane stuff.

    Let's begin.

    During and after the first Sorceress' War, there were many orphans as a result of the mindless slaughtering that was so common during that period. Celestine and I decided to choose our Masters or Ladies from the Lighthouse Orphanage, probably because we felt drawn to the children there. All of them had the brightest potential ever.

    Celestine chose her Zell, while I chose Seifer.

    Why? There's no why. Such things happen. It's fate, I guess.

    You might have had the impression that I chose him for impure reasons. That's not entirely wrong, but it's not all right either. You see, even if a secondary motive might be inherent when an Angel chooses whom to serve and protect, he or she would be unable to do so if he wasn't drawn to the person in some way.

    And I was drawn to Seifer; make no mistake about it. Don't be surprised at my words there. For even though there may have been many who were turned off by his cocky attitude, there were just as many individuals who found him to be rather charming. Maybe it was the confidence he always seemed to carry himself with; maybe it was the potential that he possessed, and never hesitated to show. It wasn't by accident that he was the Head of the Disciplinary Committee, despite his widespread reputation as a rebel of the rules.

    However, I find that my reason for being drawn to him was none of the above. It was his dream.

    You know, the dream that he wants to be a Sorceress' Knight.

    An innocent, yet in no way foolish one he had held since young. You wouldn't believe how serious he was about it. He spent hours in the library reading up on anything at all that related to the subject, while practicing his gunblade moves with a feverish intensity, maybe in hope that it might come useful to protect a Sorceress if he were to have the chance to follow one.

    I spent many of my years from that of a child to a full-blown young adult guarding him, warding those evil influences away, while silently supporting his dream.

    I do not know if he sensed it, like Zell had sensed Celestine. But I wasn't nearly as careless as she was… so it remained a mystery for a long period of time.

    But in the end… I wasn't competent enough for the job.

    I'm sorry, my Master.

    I had not put my full attention on my duty, on you. And no amount of atonement can erase that fault.

    I was such an easy opponent; that Ultimecia must have known that, which was why she headed straight for you.

    Of course, the Sorceress' Knight dream was a catalyst, but it still doesn't take away my failure at protecting you, nor does it lighten the blame that should be placed on me.

    After losing Seifer as my Master, I wanted to make amends by giving my all into the next appointment.

    I chose from the same gang, one who looked like he or she needed guidance and protection.

    It turned out to be Quistis, who had held a fragile and vulnerable heart beneath her serious, capable appearance.

    Despondent and with insecurity gnawing at her core after having lost her Instructor's license, her glass heart was shattered yet again after seeing Rinoa and Squall together.

    Of course, to her friends she had said that it was a sisterly affection she had felt for Squall. You believed that?

    It was so fitting that later, the two of them got together. My Master and My Lady, a couple.

    While I was plodding away in my own maze.

    When I saw them so close in the cell, I almost returned to my normal self, gratified that at least, they hadn't turned out too badly despite my incompetence as their Angel.

    I'd like to think that I had been a link between them… drawn together subconsciously because they had once been guarded over by the same Angel, perhaps?

    Maybe I flatter myself, maybe it was self-consolation… but I'm glad.

    So glad that tears of gratitude flow as I thank Hyne for giving them, and me, a second chance in life.

    Now, I renew my vow to watch over them, both of them, and their future generations. Damien Silvergrace, their Eternal Guardian. I think that sounds fairly good… no it's absolutely way cool…

    Enough about me. It's time to turn our eyes and ears to the hero/heroine of this story.

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    Author's Notes: From the beginning of the next chapter onwards, the only voices you'll hear in the main story will be from Quistis or Seifer. No exceptions whatsoever. But that only reaches up to the main story, cos they only paid rent for that. The space above and beneath, I'm free to do whatever I please.

    Quisty: See, readers. This is a lesson that teaches you that ALWAYS check up on your landlord before you sign anything!!!! We've been duped!!!

   WL: Shut up… you can't do anything unless you want to buy the whole space from me… _that_ you definitely can't afford! Hahahaha!

   Quisty: Ohhh! You're a meanie!

   WL: That's Rinoa's line. (Well, something like that.)


	2. The Instructor, The Rebel, and the Loner

Chapter 2 – The Instructor, the Rebel and the Loner

    Instructor Trepe stands in front of the class, briefing us on some theory about the ways of junctioning magic to our Status Attacks, Defense, blah blah blah.

    I studied my grubby boots in fascination. The specks of dust on them were definitely more interesting than the lecture that was going on. I've, like, listened to this gibberish for more than a hundred times. Okay… so I'm exaggerating a little, but it was more than enough. I think I can even memorise at which point she inhales, which words were emphasized at what point, even the examples she would list, like how much more effective it would be if we junction 100 Pains onto our status defense instead of just 100 Blinds… As if I would need to endure her droning, when all I wanted to do was sleep.

    If I continued listening, I was afraid that I might puke there and then.

     "Seifer Almasy! If you are not interested in my lessons, you can get out of my class. No. You can get the hell out of Garden and forget about EVER becoming a SeeD. Do I make myself clear?" The Blonde Instructor was standing at my terminal before I had noticed.

     "………lcdaljatk mejlk" I mumbled.

    _Damn you. Who are you to lecture me? Just because you're an Instructor doesn't mean that you can boss me around. You're well on your way on my disciplinary list…_

     "What was that again?" She glared at me like a teacher would at the class menace, hardness reflected strongly in her pair of ice-blues.

     "I said, yes, Instructor Trepe." I replied in a mocking tone.

     Why does she always have to be so overbearing? It is no wonder that her nickname given by those whispering behind her back was "The Ice Queen". How apt. In fact, I couldn't have come up with a better one myself, even with my knack for conjuring up thigh-slapping yet highly suitable nicks for the subjects of my ridicule.

     "And wipe that insolence from your voice!" She turned and stalked to the front of the classroom. "Class Dismissed!"

    The cadets started trooping out of the classroom in a great hurry, for it was lunchtime and the availability of seats was a huge question on many a cadet's mind. The only ones left were the Trepies, who hounded the Blonde Instructor with their endless questions. Hell knows what they have to ask about, after suffering for an hour of her relentless brainwashing.

    Oh, not to forget Leonhart and myself as well.

     "Hey, Leonhart." I poked him on the shoulder with my index finger. "Hows about a duel tomorrow morning?"

     "……" As usual, he kept a stony silence, and continued dragging his feet on his way out of the classroom.

    "What… don't have the guts for it?" I asked snidely, deliberately aiming to provoke him. I knew that he would rise up to the challenge I had dangled so openly in front of him.

    Sure enough, he turned around with his azure eyes ablaze with aggravation.

     "Tomorrow? You're on!" He gritted his teeth while spitting out each and every word as if they poisoned his mouth.

     "Five-thirty in the morning. Granite Quarry. Don't be late."

     "I won't!" He stormed out of the room as if the whole world killed his mother.

    I followed him out, only to see the Instructor glaring at me.

    _What kind of tricks are you up to this time?_ Her eyes seemed to be saying while attempting to bore an imaginary hole in me.

    I shrugged my shoulders, mouthing the words "I didn't do anything!" with a so-fake-you-could-spot-it-a-mile-away innocence all over my face, and continue on my way out.

********************************************************************

Ooooh… I'm so mad that I could just wring his detestable neck! If not for these annoying Trepies hanging about and in front of me, there wouldn't be anything holding me back!

     "Run along now, I've some matters to attend to." I said in a tired voice, turning and walking towards the door.

     "Wait! Instructor Trepe!" They cried out, but I ignored them. I've got better things to do than waste my time answering their million-and-one questions.

***********************

    Next day, early morning.

    Six a.m., to be precise.

    Leonhart's eyes widened in a mixture of disbelief, followed by fury as he laid back on the ground in a half-lying, half-sitting position, supported only by his arms. A crimson river trickled from his forehead, which had been newly decorated by a diagonal slash.

    I had just used a fire spell on him, and fully utilising the element of surprise, I slashed him with my weapon, thereby giving him that nice battle souvenir. I know it's forbidden to use magic in training. You might even call me despicable, but hey, I was only testing his skills to the limit. In fact, he should thank me instead, for giving him such an invaluable experience. It isn't everyday that anyone can get to train face to face with such a strong opponent.

    He started getting up again. What incredible speed. He's strong too, that I have to admit.

    Scraping his weapon on the hard granite ground with blue sparks flying off from the contact, he swung it towards me and gave me a similarly placed scar.

    Ouch. I must have been too complacent, and too careless to let him catch me unawares. I could have easily blocked his attack if I wanted to.

    But this just goes to show that my appraisal of him as a worthy opponent wasn't misplaced. It isn't often that I have such a high opinion of other people's abilities, but obviously Leonhart isn't like other people.

    I think we have quite a lot in common… and yet are too fundamentally different for us to stand each other's presence. Quite the riddle, but interesting, nevertheless.

    Later in the tutorial… or maybe it was a lecture, these things escape me, our Dear Blonde Instructor directed a warning to me right in front of the whole class 

     "Do NOT injure your partner during training." She announced. Or something to that effect.

     Does she have to disgrace me in front of the whole class? You don't see her lecturing Leonhart about injuring his training partner, even though he had a hand in it as well.

    There's no secret who was her favourite pupil.

    I growl audibly. A few of the cadets sitting around me were giggling. I had to silence them with a fierce stare…. Can't they mind their own business?

    Ah well, it's not like this had happened for the first time.

    I had better save my energies for the SeeD exam.

    If I do not pass it this time, I swear I'm going to murder someone.

    Maybe it would be Leonhart. Maybe it would be the Instructor. Maybe even the Headmaster.

    So they'd better let me pass if they know what's good for them.

*********************************

    Today, two of my most outstanding students, Squall and Seifer take their all-important exam. Squall had passed his written exam AND prerequisite at the Fire Cavern with outstanding results. _I _should know. I was his support at the Fire Cavern.

    As for the other one… he's talented, no doubt about that. But he has a major attitude problem… as if he _has _to prove to the whole world how great he is, striding around with his gunblade resting on his shoulder while ordering people about. All this just because he was the Head of the Disciplinary Committee. This is his what, third attempt? I hope he passes it. I can then rid myself of a pain in the neck.

    I know I practise favouritism… but I can't help it. Why…? Even I can't answer that myself.

    I know it shouldn't be avoided… but now isn't the time.

    When is it then?

    At least, let me wait until their exams are over. I cannot be out of control at such a time.

*********************

    Author's notes: What kind of title is that? However… I really couldn't think of another one… I rack my brains, empty them inside out, probed through all that mulch like you would when choosing fish, and still, this is all I can come up with… which doesn't say very much about its contents. So don't blame me.

    Another thing… I'm not too clear about the details, like the number of attempts Seifer and Squall took for their SeeD exams… that's why I used what I thought was correct. By the way, should it be Instructor Trepe or Instructress Trepe? I'm at a loss… help me out here!


	3. Failure

Chapter 3 – Failure

    Yeah… you have a good point there, Shootin'star. (Welcome back, yay yay yay!) I've been trying to find a solution for the problem… otherwise I would have obstacles galore for this one… and the next. Okay, how about this… if I write a Q in the middle of the divider, it would represent Quisty's point of view, and S if it would be Seifer's. If there's nothing… it would be those general stuff like author's notes. Of course, I would try to keep it clear-cut by not swapping back and forth with only a few lines in between… bear with me for a while as I get used to it myself. Damn… first person perspective is so difficult for me… I used to do only third person-cum-narrator types… thanks for your reviews, you good people! Keep them coming!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*S*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    I've always disliked The Blonde Instructor. I knew that for a very long time already. But now I'm undeniably sure about it.

    First, she has to insult me by wishing me luck. Even after I had said to save those words for bad students who need it. And she said it deliberately to humiliate me in front of my Squad. Is that the way an Instructor is supposed to act? In what kind of light would my Squad members look at me if I allowed myself to be made fun of like that? It undermines my authority as a Squad Captain, and as the Head of the Disciplinary Committee as well. I'll make sure she gets her due penalties for that.

    To further inflame the irritation I had felt towards her, she had to stop the exchange between yours truly and that immature Chicken-wuss. That hyperactive overgrown kid hadn't completely left his pacifier-sucking days from the looks of him… I couldn't resist making a jibe at him, which was precisely what I was trying to do, teach him a lesson so that he wouldn't continue to distracting people with his incessant fly-swatting moves and on-the-spot jogging. But no… she wouldn't let me have a go at him. She just _has_ to interfere in everything I do, doesn't she?

    What's wrong with her?

    Not only her. This whole Garden sucks.

    They failed me. Yet again. Saying that I have disrespect… or was it disregard… for orders.

    I concede; orders are necessary for a mission to run smoothly. Without them, everyone would be in doubt of what they should be in charge of, and this would have lead to failure.

    But when the orders themselves were questionable, shouldn't a future SeeD take the initiative to override them and aim for the better result?

   Did they stop to think about the contribution I had made towards destroying the enemy's units? Heck, if I had obediently stayed at Central Square, waiting for the call to retreat, we wouldn't have found out about that robotic monstrosity known as the Black Widow… and it most certainly would have harmed more of our client's soldiers.

   Did they take that into consideration? No. All they did was focus upon my violation of the orders.

   I hate them.

**********S**********

    My only consolation in the whole mess is Rinoa. Such a sweet, delightful girl. I've never met anyone quite like her before. She was the only one who understood me, looked beneath the surface and saw something good apart from the arrogant exterior.

    I will do everything to help her achieve her quest for Timber's Independence. I know how important this was to her, and I was flattered that she had asked for my help.

    But things did not turn out as smoothly as I had wanted them to be. I did not qualify for SeeDship and eventually, the mission of aiding the Forest Owls of Timber, of which Rinoa was the leader, fell into the hands of Leonhart and his Squad. I have no objections as to Leonhart being in charge of it… as I have stated before my appreciation of his abilities. But Chicken-wuss? And that Messenger Girl? I wouldn't trust them to look after the flower patch in Balamb Garden!

    Pssshaw… who am I kidding? I want to take over the mission myself… but regretfully I wasn't qualified enough.

    Today, the President of Galbadia, Vinzer Deling was slated to make an announcement over the airwaves.

    Some naïve fools had thought that it would be a declaration of Timber's independence… but I am not optimistic about the possibility of that happening. That old fart wouldn't be so kind.

    Sure enough, he announces Sorceress Edea to be the Peace Ambassador.

    Is he outta his mind?

    I may have a thing for Sorceresses. In fact, it is my lifelong dream to be able to protect one if I should be so fortunate to be accepted as her Knight.

    But this Sorceress Edea virtually radiates eerily black waves from within… you could see that she wasn't exactly a saint just from the way she glides, and the way she looked at people as if they were lowly beings. She gives off too evil a feeling to be a Peace Ambassador!

    I hold Vinzer Deling captive before his announcement was over… I couldn't stand the thought of Rinoa's plans being marred so easily… I _had _to do something!

    I was rash. I admit it. But damn if I was going to let our plans slip away like that!

    The Sorceress approaches me. A heart-stopping fear renders my body immobilized.

    Instructor Trepe grabs her head in pain and collapsed onto the ground.

    The raven-haired one advances slowly towards me, goading and seducing at the same time, using the word Boy over and over again.

    "I'm not a boy!" I kept shouting back.

    But I was too weak, and I let something else take over the control of my mind and body.

    I need someone to reach out and pull me back up.

    No one knows of my plight… so naturally, no hand was there to lend its support.

    Raijin and Fujin still follow me around, but they're becoming more and more distant as they're forced to fight against their former comrades.

    Disappointment and despair were ever present in their eyes, the same things that I'm feeling at myself.

    At last, they abandon me, and rightly so.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*S^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

     The final battle. I am facing Chicken-wuss, Puberty-Boy, and the Blonde Instructor.

    I do not actually like insulting them, but it was just a way of protecting myself.

    I put on a complicated mask made from a mixture of arrogance, rudeness and faked self-confidence that I wished I possessed but could only muster an appearance of. It has fooled many till this day, but I wonder if this is really what I want to do… deceiving others and myself with a personality that wasn't the least bit true. What was I to do then, tell me? Are you saying that I should let people break through it, and find a vulnerable coward shivering inside? I'd rather not, thank you very much.

    I see that they've all grown stronger… even Dintch. But it is Leonhart who especially catches my eye. There was something different about him since we last met face to face… it is none of my business to know what it was, and I do not care to learn.

    But I'm no easy fight myself    

    I dole out my Blood Fest, aiming at Leonhart, then Dintch.

    Why did I not attack Trepe? I'm not exactly clear on that myself.

    But three against one isn't a fair fight. They would heal within two turns of taking my attacks, whereas I had to choose with caution if I wanted to attack or heal my wounds.

    And who would have thought that my own GF would betray me?

    Gilgamesh had abandoned me too, along with everyone else.

    I was born a loner, and will die as one. So what's the difference anyway?

    Or so I thought.

     "You will never defeat her…" I muttered as they went off in search of Sorceress Adel. But some part of me wishes they would, so that I could get my control back.

    The manipulative force takes over my body again, holding Rinoa captive and handing her over to the Sorceress. When will she stop tormenting me like this? This shell wears my smirk, uses my Hyperion. 

    _You f**cking impostor! _I wanted to shout at it. I know it's crude to swear like that… but I was driven way past my limits of tolerance with the one who treated me like a puppet, to be pulled and yanked by the strings whichever way she wanted.

    But it is finally over now.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^S^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    I look up at the Garden with a colour that matched the clear sky, as it hovered by and covered part of the sun that had been beaming its warm rays all over that part of the world. A huge shadow covered the immediate area, due to the largeness of the mobile Garden. Cracking a small smile, I wished the best for its cadets and SeeDs alike, especially those six that I have battled closely against.

    They used to be my enemies, but I have only admiration and respect for them now.

    No longer do I blame anyone for my own failure to qualify as a SeeD. I realise how immature it was of me to think in that way before. I really needed to assess myself with a more critical eye.

    This realisation paves the way to my story. Or rather, Our Story.

    If you still have the interest, hear me out.

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    WL: Okay then, that was the story as we knew of it, from Seifer's view. I may have skipped over a lot of the stuff that actually happened in the game… but I didn't want to dwell too much on it since the relationship between Quisty and Seifer only actually improved after all of it was over.

    Celestine: Just admit that you can't remember the details.

    WL: Okay, the truth is I can't remember the details.

    Celestine: Huh? _She actually agreed with me?_

    WL: Do you guys think that I was stupid to level up to 20 as soon as Squall and company returned from the Dollet Mission, on their way back to the Garden? But I couldn't resist learning all the Vit-J, Element Attack, Element Defense, Status Defense X 2 abilities… and then came the lure of drawing 100 Firas, Blizzaras and who knows what else Mid-Level Magic for each and every person… say I'm stupid… I need to hear it. No wonder my own research takes so long… at the rate I'm going, this fic would be finished before I can get past the first battle with Edea… a.k.a Disc 1. *Moan*

    Celestine: Am I being ignored here?

    WL: Huh? Did someone say something? Remember to Read and Review, thanks people!


	4. A Surprise Visit

Chapter 4 – A Surprise Visit

******S******

     "Seifer, there's someone here to see ya. Come out for a second, ya know?" Raijin's forever present catchphrase… when is he ever gonna get rid of it? I've been listening to it for half a decade already… no… wait… it was more than that.

     "Who is it?" I asked, letting a hint of annoyance creeping into my voice. I hate being interrupted when I was working. I had been busy fiddling with some automobile spare parts. A mechanic at the Fisherman's Horizon… that's what I am now, as being a SeeD was no longer an option available to me. 

     "GARDEN PERSONELL." Fujin "said" in her special way.

    My curiosity was fully piqued. I strode in a supercilious manner towards the front of the shop, only to see Nida standing there.

    _Nida? The guy who drives the Garden? What is** he** doing here?_ I thought to myself, truly perplexed at his appearance.

     "Headmaster Cramer wishes to see you, Seifer. He invites you and your posse over to the Garden for a brief discussion." He looks at me warily. "You're coming, right?"

     "Why not? Since the Great Headmaster himself extends an invitation?" I smirked, when I was actually feeling a small thrill of anticipation snake up my spine.

    _Maybe he's willing to readmit me._

     "Please follow me, then." Nida replied, and walked out of the shop.

    I turned round to look at my two friends behind me.

     "You go ahead. We ain't going back there, ya know." Raijin said after exchanging a glance and a nod with Fujin.

     "BAD MEMORIES." Fujin said emphatically.

     "I'll be back to discuss this further with you" I said, and walked out as well.

    After going up the manual operated lifts and numerous flights of stairs, we finally reach the Garden.

    A feeling of nostalgic familiarity hit me as I stepped into this place, which had been my home ever since I was still a young boy. It had been a traumatic experience to have been banished from it… and now, a jumble of feelings hit me as I re-enter.

     "This way to the Headmaster's Office, please." Nida indicated for me to follow him as he walked towards the elevator.

    Along the way, I could hear the suspicious whispers and glances of some of the cadets and SeeDs who recognised me.

    I think I even saw Dintch gaping at me… but maybe that was my imagination.

    We arrived at Cid Kramer's office. He was seated behind his desk while his wife, Edea Kramer, stands beside him with a hand on his chair.

     "Have a seat, Seifer." They were both smiling warmly at me. A pleasant surprise, for I thought that they might have harboured some grudge against me for hurting so many of their people.

     "I have spoken to Cid, Squall, and some of the other SeeDs. And they have all agreed to let you be admitted to the Garden again." Mrs Kramer started speaking first.

    What? Are my ears deceiving me, or are they for real?

     "The only condition is… you have to pass your SeeD exam within three months." Cid Kramer… I mean the Headmaster said sternly, but still there was a distinctive kindness in his tone. "I gather that you would agree to this?"

    I nodded my head, maybe a tad too eagerly for my liking.

     "Good. If so, you will be placed under the care of a certain SeeD. She is not yet an Instructor, but I expect you to obey her orders with the same compliance and respect as you would with one."

    A knock on the door sounded. "Quistis Trepe reporting to the Headmaster." She called out.

    _Not yet an Instructor? Why is this so?_

     "Come in, Ms Trepe. The door is unlocked."

    She walks in with her usual, confident strides and salutes to the Headmaster and his wife.

     "You wished to see me, Sir?" She asked, looking straight ahead.

    _Not a single glance at me. Am I transparent or something?_

     "Yes, Ms. Trepe. As I have discussed with you earlier, Seifer will be readmitted to the Garden on the condition that he passes his SeeD exam in three months. You will become his tutor. You will also realise that this is a test for you too, to regain your Instructor License."

     "Yes, Sir. I have understood all that you have briefed me on last week."

     "This is his file." Cid Kramer hands over a thick paper file with a huge red "READMITTED" stamped on the cover.

     "Dismissed."

    We left the room. Or rather, she stalked out of the room, while I followed behind in contemplative silence.

    Once we had exited the elevator and were walking on the main corridor, she took a deep breath, turned, and stared at me squarely in the eye.

     "Seifer. I am your tutor from now on, and I expect perfect compliance from you. Nothing less than that. Are you clear on this?"

     "Sure, Instructor Trepe." I smirked. That came out of my mouth without my knowing permission… I hadn't really meant to do it.

     "FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I AM NO LONGER AN INSTRUCTOR. Didn't you hear that last part about this being a test for me to regain the license? Anyway… you and I are going to cooperate. You're going to the pass the test, and I'm going to help you do that. Are we understood?" Her piercing eyes bored into mine as she stressed on her points. 

    How very like the Instructor I had known… I guess many find it hard to change their ways, even though they might no longer hold the position. Like the way I would always try to get a rise out of people.

     "As you wish, Ms. Trepe." I sneered, as if trying to prove my own point.

     "You can call me Quistis. I allow you to do that." She turned and started to walk towards the dorms. "Meet me in front of the Training Centre at oh-eight hundred hours tomorrow. Do NOT be late!"

     "Yes, _Quistis_" I replied tauntingly.

    In an unexpected move, she pivoted on her heel, and slammed my shoulders against the white concrete wall. Quite a feat, since she was shorter and weaker than I was.

     "Now listen, and listen good, Seifer Almasy. I was one of those who voted for the idea that you be readmitted into the Garden. It is not due to my eagerness to regain my Instructor's license, but because I believe in giving everyone a second chance.

      Do not make me think that I was wrong, if that's not too difficult for you!" She released me from her hold against the wall, turned, and resumed her walk towards the dorms.

    I gawk at her departing figure. I would never have expected that coming out of her!

    I have always had the impression that she hated me.

    I really have to resort my thinking, man.

    And I believed what she had said. That she wanted to give me a second chance.

    She has changed; I'm sure of it.

    I must change as well. I can't always use this arrogant front to protect myself. It just doesn't work… it didn't work before, and it sure as hell wouldn't work now. I will only hurt myself, and those around me if I carry on doing this.

    I stare at her again, this time longingly.

    _I love the way her butt moves when she walks…_

    _What are you thinking, Almasy? Salivating after your tutor for the whole world to see? Shame on you… have you no disgrace, man?_

I shook my head vigorously and headed towards the Fisherman's Horizon to pack my bags… and maybe try to persuade Fujin and Raijin to follow me back here.


	5. Second Chances

Chapter 5 – Second Chances

    WL: Thank you, Mr Almasy, for your entertaining story.

    Welcome back to the "Peach Battle Gear and Greyish-White Coat Show with Water Lily" with our guests Seifer Almasy and Quistis Trepe.

    This is your host Water Lily speaking in front of a live audience.

    In case you have just joined us, here are the highlights.

    Voiceover by narrator booms out, summarising what Seifer had said previously, with pictures and mini-movies running across the screen to illustrate the points:

     _"Mr Seifer Almasy has been an orphan since the age of three. Living in the Lighthouse Orphanage until nine, he joined the Garden and became a SeeD only after several attempts. Now he wishes to go back to his roots, and thanks those that have nurtured him and his ambition."_

    WL: Mr Almasy, what do you have to say to your benefactors?

      "That I love them." He says with his legs crossed, a wholesome smile on his face. "And I couldn't have done it without my Quistis."

    _Awwwwww~~~~_ a unanimous sound came from the impeccably cued audience, while Quistis looked over at him with a touched expression.

    WL: Now, we shall pass the mike over to Ms Quistis Trepe.

     "Thank you, Water Lily. It is an honour to be invited to your show. It is one of the most critically acclaimed talk shows in town! Surpassing even 'The Tonight Funny Show with Celestine'!" She gushed enthusiastically.

    WL: I owe it all to marvellous guests like yourself.

    Q: Shall I begin, then?

    WL: Whenever you're ready.

    Q: Here goes!

******Q******

    This morning, they handed me the letter of demotion from Instructor to that of a normal SeeD. It had detailed the reasons for my failure sharply and concisely on the crisp piece of paper. Black words stared at me starkly in the eye as they pointed out the very reasons that led to my disgraceful downfall.

    _Lack of Leadership Qualities_

_    Display of favouritism towards a certain student_

_    Failure to segregate between personal affairs and work_

    Well, they didn't really state that last one down, but I knew that it was pretty obvious to anyone who was watching.

    All this for what? The only thing I got out of this was a bruised pride and an even worse-off heart.

     "Go talk to a wall. He said. Does he even realise how hurtful those words were? But Squall being as he was, he probably wouldn't care even if he knew. I guess I should have expected that kind of reaction from him.

    With my heart still smarting from his outright rejection, I embarked on a new mission to help this girl, Rinoa Heartilly, sort of a client, in her quest for Timber's independence.

    Squall seemed to be rather enamoured with her, agreeing to a dance even though she was a total stranger. When he wouldn't even listen to a word I say. Me, someone whom he had known as a fellow cadet, and later Instructor for so many years!

    But I suppose it was really my own doing. I wasn't as charming, sweet, warm, inquisitive, caring… the list goes on forever, as this girl. She seems to possess all the qualities that made a girl loveable in men's eyes. More importantly, in Squall's eyes.

    Qualities lacking in me, I'm sure. I know it too well. Many have called me the "Ice Queen" behind my back. For Hyne's sake… if they wanted to whisper such things about me, they should have done it softly so that I could pretend not to have heard it!

    The jealousy and envy I had felt so strongly towards her must have carried forward in my actions… which explains why I just had to scoff at her attempts to restrain the then-possessed Sorceress Edea with a mere Odine Bangle.

    I later was to regret that deeply… turning back to apologise after realising my mistake, only to be caught in the midst of a father-daughter feud between her and General Caraway.

    An age-old lesson to be learnt here: never say anything that hurts the recipient, else you will suffer the backlash three times worse than your initial words.

    _Suffer? Backlash? When did you ever suffer for your unkind words?_ You must be asking.

    Have you forgotten about the endless maze we waded around in the underground sewers as a result of my reckless words?

    Not only did we exhaust ourselves, wasting precious energy fighting creeps, red bats and some other monsters while searching our way to the main controls… I almost had a cardiac arrest when the thought of not making it in time crossed my mind several times.

    It may not seem very much to you… but I suggest you walk a few rounds in _your_ city's sewers before you comment on it.

    In the end, it all came to nothing. For the Sorceress escaped from the assassination attempt unharmed, while we were all captured and jailed in the Desert Prison. The rest of the story was as you had remembered it.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^Q^*^*^*^*^*^*^

    I could go on forever about my feelings towards Squall… and how badly I took it when Rinoa and him fell in love with each other, becoming one of the most loving couples I had ever seen.

    Even though I had professed my feelings for him to be those of a sisterly kind, that I had been trying to replace Ellone's position in his heart… it was a front that I had put up just so I could retain a little of my pride and make things seem normal between us.

    I didn't want to jeopardise any chances of a relationship I could have with him, even if it was only a platonic one.

    But that was only in the past.

    Someone pulled my away from the miserable hellhole I was stuck in.

    A lonesome figure like me, he must have identified with the emptiness that was in my heart, despite the false appearance I had tried to erect for so long.

    When had I started noticing him, for I was so blind to anything except for the stark reality of my unwanted feelings?

    It all traced back to the day he was readmitted to the Garden, and I was his appointed tutor.

    When Headmaster Kramer came to us, namely Squall, Rinoa, Zell, Selphie, Irvine and myself with a proposal, we hadn't been quite prepared for what he had in mind.

    The Headmaster might have looked like a simple man, but do not be deceived by his bumbling appearance. He can be quite shrewd if he chooses to be. If you're looking for a reason that Matron was attracted to him, there you have it.

    He had summoned all six of us into his office, which made it a little squeezy, since it was a rather small one.

     "I've called you here today to consult you on something of moderate importance. It is regarding the readmission of an ex-cadet, Seifer, as well as Fujin and Raijin. I would like to hear your views on the matter."

    All of us looked at each other, first in shock, then in uneasiness. Seifer's name usually brings bad memories to our minds, especially for Squall, Rinoa and myself, while Zell had always disliked him for his name-calling.

    The only relatively neutral ones left looked a bit too unreliable to be entrusted with the responsibility of deciding a thing with such paramount importance.

    Paramount importance? You think that I'm exaggerating, aren't you?

    Now hear this. Seifer has caused much damage to the Garden and also helped to destroy Trabia Garden. Even if the latter was in the process of reconstruction, many lives were lost during our war against Sorceress Ultimecia, of who he was under control.

    As such, his readmission might very well affect the morale and overall congeniality of the Garden Community.

    However, I believe it to be much better if he was our ally, rather than an enemy. His skills and talent were not something to be overlooked, and made to waste.

    That was the main point of the Headmaster's argument.

     "Those in favour raise their hand."

    To my surprise, all of us did.

    The same expression was on everyone's face.

    Squall spoke up first without prodding, the greatest surprise of all.

     "He was under the influence of the evil Sorceress. It would be unfair to judge him based on that." He blushed a little even as he finished… still shy from public speaking, I guess.

     Rinoa squeezed his hand and smile warmly at him. It was hard not to look away, but mercifully I managed to keep my eyes on them.

     "I know Seifer. His normal self wasn't like that at all. He's a gentleman." Rinoa put in a good word for him.

    I decided to shut out all the malicious thoughts from my mind… it disrupts the thinking process.

     "I know that he had a hand in Trabia's bombing, but if we want him to make up for his mistakes, he should be working for us, instead of being kept out of here." An unusually solemn Selphie had her legitimate reasons too. Maybe I had underestimated her reliability.

      "I agree with Sefie." Irvine said, surprisingly without that habitual tip of the hat.

    It was Zell's turn to speak. He was another unexpected one.

     "As long as he doesn't provoke me, it's fine with me. I can live with being called Chicken-wuss if it means so much to the Garden. Well, as long as it isn't TOO often." He added with a broad grin.

    Well, well… someone has grown up too.

    Finally, all eyes turned to me.

     "I've always believed in giving people a second chance. I don't see why he should be an exception."

     "Well-spoken, Ms Trepe. And just the person who should have said it. Because I am entrusting him under your supervision." The Headmaster walked up to me, his hands crossed behind his back.

     "What?" _Why me?_

     "As we all know, you are one of the best and most experienced SeeD in the Community. And at the same time, you've have had prior experience in guiding him, I find you to be the best person to be his tutor. A condition that I have laid down for his readmission was to pass the SeeD exam and graduate within three months. In addition, this will be a test for you as well. If this goes smoothly, you be able to regain your Instructor's License. Well?" He paused, waiting for an answer.

    I looked around me, only to be greeted by a row of supportive faces that seemed to say, "_You can do it."_

     "As you wish, Sir. I will see to it that Seifer Almasy passes his SeeD exam within three months."

      "Just as I thought." He said with a fatherly smile, and turned towards Matron. "Didn't I say that she would agree to it?"

    Matron responded by giving him a displeased look.

    A man will always be a man. Didn't he know that it was taboo to announce in front of others that his wife was wrong?

    Especially if those "others" were the closest people she ever had to children.

    He was in for a hard time, I could be sure of it.

    Oh well, children should not interfere in the "parent's" arguments.

     "You are dismissed." He said, blissfully unaware of the impending storm brewing beside him.

     "Yes, Sir!" We chorused, saluted him and Matron, and left the office as fast as we could manage.

     "CID KRAMER~~~~~~!!!!" We could hear a voice screaming as the door closed behind us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*Q*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     "Sure, Instructor Trepe!" He said.

    Was he purposely trying to hurt me with words, or did it come out as a force of habit?

    Either way, he's still that old, cocky, insult-spewing Seifer.

    I had been optimistic of being able to guide him towards the path of becoming a SeeD.

    Now, I'm not so sure.

    No, I'm POSITIVE that he will fail again.

    Like he did the very last time he took the exam.

    Will history repeat itself?

    Will I have to relive the humiliation of failure staring at me in the face, mocking me to no end?

    I put my foot down and told him my reasons for accepting this case of being his tutor.

    Does he even understand what I'm trying to say? Did any of it get through that thick skull of his?

    I have little confidence that the answer is in the affirmative.

    And yet, a little voice lingering in my head tells me to believe in myself, and believe in him. To just let nature take its course.

    And it tells me many times that Seifer isn't really as bad as he appears to be, and it was all an act.

    Should I give him the benefit of the doubt?

    It wouldn't hurt to try… would it?

//////////////////////////*Q*\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

    Next morning…

    I arrived at the entrance of the Training Centre, ten minutes earlier than the stipulated time. I've always placed a heavy emphasis on punctuality, and it wouldn't do if I failed to practice what I preached, would it?

    I run through my mind what to say to Seifer when he appears. He would probably be late, given his past records. I definitely have to instil the importance of being on time in him.

    I should stop treating him like a delinquent… cos it might very well show in my body language. I wonder if it would be more effective if I were to treat him like a peer? Maybe I shall try that in the upcoming lesson. Just as well that I've told him to call me Quistis… it would make things much easier then.

     "Thinking of me, In… I mean Quistis?" Seifer's deep voice broke through my thoughts, startling the hell out of me.

    Apparently, he still has trouble adapting to calling me by the first name. I guess I would have to take things one at a time.

     "As a matter of fact, yes, Seifer." I looked at my watch, and to my surprise, he was early.

     "Good, you have reached five minutes before the time we've agreed on. It is one of my principles to always be prepared, and being early would most certainly enforce that. Make it a habit to be early for all of my lessons, and your subsequent missions throughout your career as a SeeD."

     "Understood." He replied, without a trace of his irritating smirk or attitude-laced tone.

    Are my eyes and ears serving me right? He seemed to be quite serious about this, so different from what he had displayed yesterday.

     "Alright, let's do some training then."

    I walked towards the Training Centre, with Seifer following closely behind.

     "Where're Raijin and Fujin?" I asked, trying to make small talk as the silence stifles the air in the corridor. Those two usually tagged along with Seifer like Man's best friends… it was a little strange to see him without his posse.

     "They decided not to come back. Too many bad memories, they said." There was a hint of sadness in his voice, which dipped a little lower than its usual tone.

     "Oh." I didn't know how to respond.

    Fortunately, we reached the Training Centre just at that time, without me having to dwell my thoughts on how bad it was to barge into other people's private space.

    We battled quite a number of Grats here and there. They were too weak to be worthy training opponents, dying after just one crack of my Save The Queen, or a slash from Seifer's Hyperion.

     "Just where are those T-Rexaurs when you need them?" I grumbled aloud in frustration after having battled the grand total of one of them in the fairly long time we had been there.

     "Taking a late morning nap, I s'ppose." He drawled. I could see that he was getting bored too.

    But even a T-Rexaur would not be good enough for training purposes, I believe, since we had already experienced the trials and tribulations of having battled with a Sorceress and top calibre SeeD respectively.

     "I might consider applying for a field session, so that we can train with much more challenging monsters than those available here." I suddenly spoke my plans aloud. He was the sole student to be on this excursion, and I thought he should probably be informed about it.

     "That would be great!" He replied, eyes lighting up in anticipation.

    _He looks just like a kid with a new toy._ I thought to myself, trying to suppress the giggle coming to my lips.

     "What's so funny, Quistis?" He asked, puzzled look on his face.

     "Nothing. I think we've spent enough time in here, and it isn't getting us any further. You can go back to your dorm to shower, change, rest, or do whatever you want. Then meet me at the cafeteria entrance at exactly twelve-thirty p.m. sharp."

    I started striding towards the entrance.

    "Twelve-thirty? Cafeteria?" His face had such a lost look that I wanted to burst out laughing again.

     "I've got a new assignment for you. It may be easy, or it may be difficult as hell. It's all up to you." I said, shooting a meaningful look at him.

     "What assignment?" He called after me as I started to step out into the main corridor.

     "You'll know when you get there. Don't be late!" I replied, before heading off for a nice cold shower and rid myself of these smelly, sticky clothes.

************************************************************************************

WL: Tada~~~ how was that? I hope it wasn't too confusing.


	6. The New Assignment!

Chapter 6 – The New Assignment?!

    WL: God! Help me! My arm is starting to resemble one of those Caterchipillars, a red one!!!

   Celestine: Amputate it then.

****************************~~~~S~~~~****************************

    Cafeteria? At twelve-thirty noon? What is she trying to do? I hardly think that there was anything to be learnt at the Cafeteria? Was there?

    Maybe she wanted me to get used to being scrutinised by assorted SeeDs and cadets? That really wasn't necessary… I've had my fill of those in the short period of time I returned… which was less than two days ago in case you've lost count.

    Of course, I kept telling myself to ignore them… but it's really hard when every move you make elicits a comment, a snigger, or an ill-concealed whisper.

    It really takes a toll on my patience… I feel like shouting at them to mind their own business.

    But doing that would only erode my determination to be good, and prove to those who believed in me that they weren't wrong in their judgement.

    Okay, so I've reached the cafeteria entrance, EARLY like she wants me to be. Strange, it appears that I'm following her every instruction as if it were the imperial decree, she being the Empress Dowager and I the Military General receiving it.

    I can see her approaching from afar, a pleasant smile lighting up her face as she realises that I had reached there even earlier than her.

     "What a pleasant surprise, Seifer! You have taken my words to heart. Now, shall we?" She gestures towards the cafeteria entrance.

    A whiff of fruity scent wafted from her hair into my nose. Not bad. Not bad at all.

    I stepped in and looked around with apprehension. Sure enough, stares came from the people queuing up for food, eating at the table. Man, a guy needs a lot of courage to face this alone. But I suppose it would be easier for my life here if I were to get used to it.

    She's right, as usual.

     "What are you standing around, gawking at people for? Our table is over there!" Quistis came up and took my arm, leading me towards a table where a couple of familiar faces were seated.

    I looked at her hand touching my arm. The touch was warm; the grasp wasn't hard at all. In fact, it felt just like that of a friend grabbing another's arm.

    _I COULD get used to this_… I said to myself with a smile.

    And I decided that I liked the way she said "our table".

     "Hey, Quisty! Come on over! We've got your lunch ready for you! And… for you as well, Seifer." Selphie Tilmitt waves to her, then managed to squeeze out a small smile for my benefit.

    Though it was a little stiff, it didn't look like she was faking it.

     "Hi…" I lifted my eyes a little, looking tentatively at those seated around, expecting at least one unwelcome face.

    Instead, all of them looked normal. Alright, maybe they were a little tensed up, which I sure as hell wouldn't blame them for it. But overall… it was cool.

    And I owe it all to Quistis, for she kept involving me in the conversation, filling me in on the things I had missed out. I think she might have told them beforehand that I was joining them too. Otherwise, how come none of them were surprised? And did my lunch magically appear out of nowhere too?

    She was like a bridge between them and me… a light in the tunnel of sheer darkness.

    For that, I will always think of her in gratitude.

    And the only thing that I can do to repay the debt is to pass my SeeD exam with flying colours.

    So that she could get back her Instructor's license. She deserves it more than anyone else.

     "Hey, Seifer. Is your lunch so interesting that you have to look so intensely at it?" Irvine Kinneas… I mean Irvine's voice suddenly boomed in my ear.

     "Yeah… I can finish your hotdog for you if you don't want it." Ch… Zell jested. Wait… maybe he was serious.

     "No thanks. I love my lunch enough to eat it, Ch… I mean Di… I mean Zell."

     _Damn, when can I get used to calling them by their first names?_

     "Hahaha… hey, you needn't worry about not getting used to our names. You can call me 'Chicken-wuss' occasionally, provided you don't do it too often."  
    "Huh? I'd better not." I looked at him right in the eye, surprised at his words.

     "Why not? You scared that your tutor might think less favourably of you?" He teased with a mischievous grin, and turned to Quistis. "Would you, Quisty?"

     "Don't worry, Seifer. I have no problems with that. Since he's already allowed it himself." Quistis chipped in with a loud laugh.

     "Okay, but I still have to get used to your name. Can't possibly call you Chicken-wuss all the time, can I?"

     "You just did! Don't sweat it. You'll lose all your hair!"

     "Let's eat, before the lunch gets cold." Guess who that was… the perpetually silent Squall! Who would have thought…

******S******

    Boy was I glad that we didn't get off on a wrong foot. I was honestly rather dreadful of the thought that I would have to spend my days in the Garden doing everything on my own.

    But they accepted me like one of their own, even after what I've done to them.

    They ain't the top SeeDs of the Garden for nothing.

    Maybe they had decided to give me a chance cos we used to live in the same orphanage?

    Yeah… it's gradually coming back to me now… those innocent years when our days were free of pain. Not really…. But we were too young to understand what that was anyway.

    Quistis had told me about the memory loss side effects of junctioning GFs. It was a piece of startling news to me.

    I should probably keep a journal then, so that I could still have some record of my past if I were to look back from the future, but I'm not really a journal-writing kind of guy.

    Of course, it wouldn't affect me too badly, since I have super memory powers. *Smirk*

    Oh, it's all returning. A smirk here, an odd snicker there…

    I guess I had better watch myself, but old habits die hard.


	7. I am tired

Chapter 7 – I'm tired.

-------------------------*Q*-------------------------

     "Oh my Hyne, he has changed too much to be attached to the name Seifer Almasy!" Selphie exclaimed, her eyes round with excitement.

     "Yeah, he seems rather subdued to me." Rinoa nodded her head in agreement to Selphie's comment.

     "Oh, I'm not sure if it would last. Maybe he hasn't overcome his shyness and wasn't acting like himself." I added thoughtfully. Indeed, he was like a totally different person. He seemed almost too polite, as if putting up a front.

     "Well, he's definitely a strange one. I got goose bumps when he called me Zell, after having gotten use to 'Chicken-wuss' for so many years." Zell demonstrated with a shiver.

     "HaHaHaHaHa~~~~! You're the strange one, Zell! When he called you 'Chicken-wuss' the last time, you wanted to beat him up something bad… but now you're INVITING him to call you that? Has your brain gone to sleep or something?" Selphie nudged Zell's shoulder with her elbow

     "He isn't strange! Zell was just being generous to Seifer, right?" Yuri jumped to her boyfriend's defense immediately. Now I know why Zell could tolerate being called "Chicken-wuss". He didn't want to lose his cool in front of his girl. *Snicker*

    What did I just do again? Snicker? From me? I'm behaving more and more like a certain platinum blond… better watch myself before I turn into a female version of Seifer!

    Hmm… on hindsight… maybe that wasn't the true reason behind Zell's newly acquired level-headedness… it might have been due to a blue-haired Angel… but that's really straying down the point.

    As the rest of the gang continued arguing about what had caused Seifer to behave so differently, I started drifting off in my own world.

    Lately, it had been getting more and more obvious that Rinoa and Squall would be tying the knot soon. Or at the very least, an engagement was in the plans.

    How did I know? I'd be pretty stupid if I didn't, what with Rinoa stopping by every jewellery shop and staring at the wedding bands on display. I couldn't have missed it even if I wanted to.

     "I would _so_ love to try on one of those…." She had hinted… no, stated her desire to get hitched to Squall each time.

    I do not know if I should be glad… but Squall didn't seem to take the hint, and would just walk off by himself, leaving a pouting Rinoa behind.

    But I know that it wouldn't be long before he gets it… and proposes to Rinoa. What would I do then? How would I react? Would I be able to carry on acting so nonchalant about it?

    I only hope that something would distract me before it happens… can I even dare to hope that I would have gotten over my feelings for him by that time? Oh Hyne… if I could be granted only one wish in my lifetime… I wish that someone could come along and save me from getting my pride and heart trampled on again…. Anyone at all…

^^^^^^^^^^*Q*^^^^^^^^^^^

    Why is it that every time you dread for something to happen, it eventually does? Is it because you kept worrying about it, until it finally becomes a reality so that your worries weren't wasted? Or what? I do not care… I just feel like the unluckiest woman in the world.

    This very Sunday afternoon… something happened to prove that my previous fears weren't unfounded. I should have been prepared for it… since it was already becoming so obvious… but couldn't they have given me a little more time to accept the harsh reality? I guess not…

    In a totally uncharacteristic manner, Squall finally noticed what his precious darling had been hinting at.

    Rinoa was looking into the shop window of a jewellery shop in Dollet, as she was wont to do every time we all went for shopping trips… especially if Squall had been tugged along, reluctantly, I might add.

    "Squall… Don't you think that pair of rings over there would be perfect for us? Think of how the amethyst would glitter against the delicate setting for the Hers ring… and the His ring would look so right on your finger too!" She tugged in a childlike manner at Squall's arm, like a kid trying to get her parent to indulge in her fancies.

   And a most astonishing reply came from Squall.

    "Which one?" He actually asked!

    I could almost visualise the triumphant "YES!!!"-es that were going through Rinoa's mind. In fact… I think she could hardly resist pumping her hands high up into the air to demonstrate her victorious attempt at getting Squall to comply with her ardent wishes.

    Everyone nudged each other with cheeky, knowing grins (yes, including myself, even though I was faking it) when they heard it. The dimwit has finally responded!

    That night, all of them got drunk at the Dollet bar and could hardly wake up the next day. Let's not talk about the hangovers that some of them were suffering from. Not me. I had to control myself… there was no knowing what I would do or say that might accidentally reveal my hidden feelings for Squall… even though all I wanted to do was drown my sorrows in alcohol and forget all about the damn thing.

    Mercifully, I had an excuse for not "joining in the fun", as they had said while urging me to drink glass after glass of hard liquor. I had to rush off and prepare for Seifer's lesson the next morning.

    It was a glaringly obvious lie, but their lie-detecting abilities were too dulled by the alcohol content in their bloodstreams to expose it anyway.

    What can I say? That at least they hadn't found out about what I was trying to hide? I suppose I should be thankful for small favours.

    I think Seifer must have noticed that something was wrong with me, and suggested that we postpone the field trip and read up in the library instead.

    I owe a lot to him.

    What kind of training tutor or partner would I have been, if my mind were miles away in distraction?

    He seemed to be self-disciplined enough to study on his own, so I left him in the library and went off to the dorm so that I could coop myself in there.

    Was I wrong to do that? Abandoning him to endure stares from those who couldn't mind their own businesses?

    But what was I to do? I couldn't face anybody, knowing that they would probably be talking enthusiastically about the upcoming engagement of Squall and Rinoa… and I would have to refrain myself every minute of the day from screaming out for them to shut up. I didn't want to hear anything about it!

    I asked Seifer if he would mind if I wasn't there to supervise him… my fingers crossed behind my back.

    "It's cool." He said with a reassuring smile. I almost didn't give him a hug as the relief in me gushed wave after tremendous wave.

    I spent about three days locked up in my room, coming out only for meals… with the gang. It would look terribly strange if I started alienating them too obviously. It was pure torture as I sat opposite the blissful couple, exchanging the tenderest of glances and whispering sweet nothings in front of everybody. The urge to look away had never been so overpowering…

   I would stuff the food, usually a small salad quickly into my mouth then depart from the table, whipping up some excuse about preparing for Seifer's lessons.

    Poor Seifer… I had made use of him so openly, and yet not a single complaint had come from him. He was amazingly "cooperative", and did not divulge that he had actually been training and studying on his own for three whole days.

    If Seifer had leaked any of that out, I could kiss any hope of regaining the Instructor's License goodbye. Maybe even my SeeDship. I shiver to think of that… and yet I could not stop the foolishness that was coming over me.

    I found out several months later that he had asked Zell to accompany him to the forests outside Balamb Garden for training. When asked why I wasn't his partner, he actually covered my tracks by saying that I was too busy marking the many tests set for him.

    Asking Zell to be his partner? Covering up my tracks?!!! Are the deserts dry? Does the ocean contain water? I felt that I had to ask these questions to ascertain that at least, there were some things that remain constant in this world… but I'm drifting too far from the point.

   (I could have sworn that I heard the theme song of X-Files running through my mind.)

    I'm tired… I relinquish the responsibility of telling the story to someone else… at least for the time being.

******************************************************

    WL: I put up an adaptation of the Christmas carol  "Twelve days of Christmas" as I wanted to take a little break from this long running series…

     C: It is highly unfunny.

   WL: Be careful that Zell doesn't sue you for spouse abuse.

    C: Oh… spouse! What a nice ring it has…

    WL: (Grumble) Thick-skinned moron.

Author's notes: Neither X-files nor its theme music belongs to me.


	8. She doesn't trust me

Chapter 8 – She doesn't trust me

    Author's Notes: Yikes… I just realised that I had missed out typing in this part in the last chapter… so it's going to be very short… anyway… please read and review!

**************************************(S)*******************************************

    When I first realised that Quistis was still harbouring deep feelings for Squall, a dreadful feeling came over me.

    I can't really describe what it is, except that my heart was heavy and I couldn't think straight.

    On the one hand, Squall was a friend, so I couldn't really blame him for what I was going through. Besides, he's already with Rinoa, which means that officially, he was out of the equation.

    Friend? Oh yeah. I had become part of the gang after just ten days. They accepted me to be part of them even as my old annoying traits gradually returned. They made my life at the Garden much more bearable, fun even. I would wake up each day and be truly anticipating what it holds for me… unlike in the past where I would dread the thought of facing yet another dreary reminder of my mundane existence… resulting in my habitual tardiness. Too profound to have come out of my mouth? It's all thanks to the sheer number of hours I had clocked in at the library while Quistis locked herself up in the dorm.

    I wanted so badly to force her to open up to me, to pour out her troubles instead of keeping them inside! She could very well suffer from chronic depression if this carries on.

    But… a big but… I know how it is when there's too much pain inside. If you can't even see what's right in front, how are you supposed to share your hurt with someone whom you can't trust?

    How do I know that she doesn't trust me? Simple… would you place your wounded heart in the hands of one who caused you to lose your Instructor's License? Who allowed himself to be manipulated and attack you and your good friends?

    Point a gun to my head, and I would still say no.

    As I am realising and saying this, I could visualise a mental picture of my heart being slashed into tiny pieces by my Hyperion… blood oozing thickly from it.

    To ignore that unwanted feeling, I asked Zell to train with me at the forests outside of Balamb Garden.

     "Say, Zell. Would you be a pal and go training with me at the Acauld Plains? You know… those forests surrounding our Garden?" I sauntered up to him while he was practising his shadowboxing in front of the Training Centre.

     "Sure, why not? I'm tired of the monsters in the Training Garden anyhow. But why didn't you ask Quisty, since she's your Tutor and all?"

     "Oh, she has to mark those numerous tests she had set for me in the past three days. I feel like stretching my bones a little to get rid of the bookworm smell…" I scrunched up my face in disgust, but pat myself on my back mentally for being able to come up with such a convincing lie.

     "Argh… I wouldn't want to be in YOUR shoes. Awright, grab your Hyperion and meet me at the front gate in ten minutes, would that be okay?"

     "Thanks, bud." I looked at him gratefully.

     "Yuck. You had better revert to you're a**hole mode as soon as possible. I get the shivers when you talk in that oh-so-faked-courteous way."

     "Sure, _Chicken-wuss_!" I replied in a ridiculously exaggerated manner. "Thank Hyne for that… now I can breath easily."

     "That's more like it. I don't like fakes… I'll pulverise ya if you pull that one on me again! Laterz!"

He walked towards the library, presumably to inform his girlfriend of his agenda. Hah.

    Better get my Hyperion… I wouldn't want to be late, even if it wasn't Quistis' lesson…

************************************************************************************

    WL: Yuck… I can't believe the extent of mushiness my words can get…

     "Thanks buddy!" "Will you be a pal…" Urgh… so totally Out of Character. Supporters of the Seifer hates Zell and vice versa camp, please do not flame me. But see, here are my reasons why they had the potential to become the best of buddies (but only in my series, you hear?):

    1.Squall is too caught up in his and Rinny's world, so naaaaah~~~ he wouldn't work. And he's too serious.

    2.Irvine is too flirtatious... and he's not really the kind who would truly understand how torturous theory tests are.

    3.They look good training together.

    4.My previous story, Return to Me, mentions them having a better relationship than the others… maybe because their Angels were close too?

    5.Zell would probably be the least likely to blab to others if he found out about Quisty's feelings for Squall, as is Seifer.

    6.Zell is more mature because he had lost something precious. He could identify with Seifer's loneliness, emptiness, blah, even thought Seifer did not really spell it out.

    I can go on and on… but this isn't Zell's story. Sorry I spent so much space on him… I'm such a diehard of his.

    I like to see these two as buddies, but I don't want this to become a yaoi (Read: Boy x Boy) fic. Main reason is that I like Quisty too much to let her become the lone person without a man… and I like my own Celestine as well. Narcissistic, ain't I?


	9. The Seed Exam

Chapter 9 – SeeD Exam

    Water Lily (on her knees): Please~~~ have mercy on me! Please give me more reviews! You have me down on my knees… isn't that enough? (Kowtows repeatedly)

    Celestine: Woman! Have you no shame in yourself?

    Water Lily: As long as I get my reviews… this little sacrifice mean nothing at all!

    Celestine: Touché!

*Q*

    The day of reckoning has finally arrived, and not a moment too soon.

    This would be the second last chance Seifer would have to qualify as a SeeD. If he doesn't pass within these two tries, he can say his goodbyes to the Garden forever, unless the Headmaster changes his mind. This wasn't an optimistic possibility at all, given the inflexibility that the Garden practices when it comes to the rules. Come to think of it… the Headmaster had already bent the rules a little when he allowed Seifer to be readmitted, albeit under certain conditions.

    However, I am sure that Seifer would do his best to pass on his very first attempt since his readmission, and not leave it to chance.

    He must pass in order to prove his critics wrong. Those sniggering busybodies who call themselves SeeDs or cadets of the Garden… they do not put in even half of the effort he has in his determination to do well. What right do they have to judge him?

    I would be surprised if he didn't get through. In terms of experience… that he has in abundance, more than any other candidate, and perhaps, even some of the SeeDs. As for the fundamental principles, his knowledge and expertise was built up gradually over the years due to repeated attempts at the exams, and having spent quite a lot of time in the library for the past month or so. The latter being a direct consequence of my irresponsibility… Hyne I'm ashamed of myself.

    I think I'm even more nervous than he is.

    Please, Hyne, on the account of his changed ways and my fervent wishes…let him pass. I swear to abandon my feelings towards Squall if you were to heed this prayer of mine. The same prayer which reflects in the heart of every one of his friends as well.

*S*

    The SeeD exam… I dreamt of failing it every night since the beginning of the week. I hate this feeling that I'm not fully prepared for it. Could it be due to my glorious history of failed attempts?  
    Quistis gives me a look, and nods firmly with a wide smile. Just the right dose for calming my jumping nerves… 

    I think she has a soothing, calming effect on me. I might even call her my lucky charm if I want to… hehehe that's a thought.

    It's as if she's holding my hand, and telling me that I can do it.

    Well, I sure as hell was not going to disregard my orders this time… there is no longer a need to prove myself to others… a need that had been such a strong influence in my actions before. Only because I know, and Quistis knows of what I am capable of.

    And that, is all that matters.

    However, it isn't to say that I wouldn't do my best. Of course I would. It takes an idiot to jeopardise what little chance that's handed out to him.

*S*

    The field exam was to be held at Deling City, where the newly voted President Caraway, Rinny's estranged father holds position. He had enlisted the services of SeeD to curb the activities of a group of terrorists who had sprouted overnight, bombing a few shops here and there… and generally creating unrest among the citizens.

     "Make sure that every single one of them is captured." He had specifically instructed.

     He hadn't looked particularly pleased about it… from what was heard from Squall. Of course… these people HAD to create disturbances when he had barely settled into the all important seat… they were probably trying to upstage his rule.

   There were three more candidates in my Squad taking the field exam… all rather young, around seventeen. And there I was at the ripe old age of twenty. So naturally I was made the Squad leader (besides some other reason we are well aware of.).

    We had been standing at the ground-floor lobby waiting for instructions when one of them came up to me and decided to introduce herself.

     "Hi. I'm Water Lily. Pleased to meet you. My specialty is the bow and arrow.) A fair girl with shoulder-length hair and weird coloured contacts came up to me and held out her hand. I took it a little warily.

     "Seifer Almasy." I offered.

    _Strange… why do I get the feeling that I've seen her before? Oh… you idiot! She's from the Garden… of course I'm bound to spot her somewhere, only I just can't remember it!_

"Psst Psst… Don't worry. You're going to pass." She whispered into my ear.

    What the hey…? She's a candidate herself and she tells me not to worry?

     "I'm Doug MacKenzie. How do you do?" A pair of steely greyish eyes stared into my own as if looking for a challenge… but having recently acquired a new sense of calmness, I failed to take the dangling bait.

     "Pleased to meet you too. Seifer Almasy." I actually smiled at him. No point getting all worked up over a little staring incident.

     "I know. My weapon is the revolver." He said, and suddenly broke into a warm smile that caused his steely eyes to turn into liquid mercury. "I'm sorry about that. Just wanted to prove some people wrong… the rumour that you'll blow your top over the slightest thing."

     "No offense taken, although you really shouldn't have bothered. What people say is their business. I'm not going to work myself up into a stew just because of that."

     "That is an admirable trait!" He nodded with approval, and gave a hearty laugh.

    It's funny how people can offer you support and encouragement at the most unexpected times and places.

     "My name is Nobunaga Saitou. My skill is the Saitou-Hajime Ryu technique, my weapon the Japanese sword." A dark-haired, slitty-eyed dude with a sword half his height attached to his belt, he bowed at ninety degrees at the waist as if towards an opponent at a Kendo (Japanese Fencing) competition.

    I glanced at the sword, and actually felt kinda glad that I wasn't at the receiving end of it… even though he hadn't taken it out of the sheath yet.

     "Interesting weapon you have there. The name's Seifer Almasy." I offered my hand.

     He took it immediately and performed the obligatory shake.

     "Don't be deceived by my appearance. I always feel like intimidating a person I first met by performing some kind of formality, just to see his reaction. So far… you're the only one who passed the test with flying colours. Call me Nobu… it's easier to pronounce that way."

    I hardly thought so… but I guess I'll go along with him.

    As I speak, an announcement reports that the train would soon arrive at Deling City. We started to get ready for our departure from the train carriage.

     "All the best to you guys. I hope we all pass." I turned around and said my piece before stepping out of the carriage.

    They looked at each other with pleasantly surprised expressions.

     "But of course, you wouldn't want to outshine me, would ya?" I said with a smirk, and they all burst out in lusty bouts of laughter.

    It was strange how they had all known that I had meant it as a joke, but I suppose that I'm glad they did.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^*S*^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    The actual mission in itself went in an uneventful manner. So uneventful it was… that I really didn't know the purpose for the despatch of SeeD personnel. The local citizens could have done the job themselves. It turns out that these "terrorists" were actually a bunch of youngsters trying to protest the new government's many newly imposed rules.

    According to the intelligence gathered from Squad B, there were no actual casualties, human or otherwise that resulted from the bomb scares. The only damage that was done were a few shops here and there, and these had been vacant at the time of the bombings.

    But instructions were instructions. Reluctant as we were, we still had to capture the culprits and hand them over to the Galbadian government.

    As I prodded one of those along to the "Prisoner" truck, his eyes suddenly went wide with anxiety as he stared towards one of the shops.

     It had been put up for sale and so no one was inside. But a bunch of kids were playing noisily in front of it.

    The townspeople had thought it safe to let them out, since the bombers had already been captured.

     "There's still a bomb left in the garbage can beside the shop! Lemme go!" He struggled to wriggle out of my grasp, with little success of course.

     "WHAT?!! How long until it blows?" My grip on him tightened considerably as I mentally realised the implications and consequences of what he had just said.

     "Between two to three minutes! We didn't realise that kids would be playing near the shop! We only thought of leaving one last mess for the government to clear!"

     "Save your stupid explanations for later!" I growled.

     Turning to look around for another SeeD or cadet, I found that I was the only one who had a remote chance of preventing a tragedy from happening… for all others had gone off to the truck to guard over the "prisoners" and prevent them from escaping.

    I suppose we were all too careless and hadn't thought about the possibility of such a thing happening.

    _No time to waste… _I muttered to myself.

    Running towards the children, I shouted at them to get away from the place, that a bomb was going to explode.

    To my relief, all of them started scurrying off to their mothers in assorted directions.

    The relief abruptly turned to that of anxiety when I saw that one of them had remained in her position, unmoving like a stone sculpture.

    A little girl, around four years of age from the looks of it sat there bawling her eyes out, unwilling or unable to move.

     "Hey, why aren't you running off like 'em? Dontcha know the bomb's gonna blow any minute? You don't want to become little pieces of stuff do ya?" I rushed towards her, cold sweat covering my forehead.

    "B…but I cyant get up… M…mister…!" She sobbed, looking up at me with cornflower eyes that reminded me of someone dear to my heart.

     "Alright, don't cry. Big Brother Seifer'll get you out of here in no time." I said, squatting down and scooping her up in my arms.

    But before I could take a step, something told me that it was going to blow, now.

    By instinct, I shielded the little girl with my body.

    A deafening blast, followed by pieces of hot somethings flung out from the shop's direction, one of them hitting me on the head.

    Everything started to blacken… but not before I heard her voice calling my name……

    _Sorry, Quisty. I'm going to have to let you down again……_

----------------------------------Lalala*Lalala---------------------------------------------

Author's Notes: The Saitou Hajime I mentioned above is actually a character from Rurouni Kenshin, or otherwise known as Samurai X for those of you who watched the anime. He does not belong to me, neither does the manga, the anime, the plot, the story, the idea, the characters. The actual name of the technique is the Gatotstu stance, and not some Saitou Hajime Ryu crap I mentioned above. And no… it isn't a form of Kendo. It is a deadly sword technique. Oh… too much info… you can guess that I'm a fan of his hehehe.


	10. Wake up

Chapter 11 – Wake up…

* * *

    Author's Notes: I know, I know… I've been neglecting this fic of mine lately, due to a little distraction also known as "Christmas Carols FF8 style"… it's just that the air is floating with Christmas Carols booming out from everyone's stereos, and I wanted to add a little humour into my life before I get driven to lunacy by my terrible workload… sigh. How I wish I were someone who lived in FF8 world… however heavy your workload, you still have time to play Triple Triad! *laugh*  Yeah, you can probably confirm by now that the poisoning of FF8 (and most importantly, Zell) in my system has completely saturated all the living cells in my body. So… disregarding my mental state, please enjoy this chapter, and reviews! Keep them coming. Even if you think it sucks, tell me what part of it is so bad! I need to know so that I can continue annoying people with it… just kidding.

* * *

***Q***

    Dear Hyne… I asked you to grant me the prayer that he passes the SeeD exam… but of what use would it be if he becomes a human vegetable for the rest of his life? I beseech you… please let him wake up, or else I'll… I'll…

     "Quisty…" A hand touches me softly on the shoulder, jolting me out of my inner thoughts as I jumped with a start. "It's already been four days since you've been in here, holding his hand. Why don't you go back and take a rest, have a shower first? It isn't any good to waste yourself away. We'll help you take care of him… and I'll tell you as soon as he wakes up! Don't worry!"

    I glanced at the hand, unable to lift my eyes up to its owner.

    _Don't worry? I'm afraid that's beyond my ability… how could I possibly stop worrying about him when the threat of his death hangs so closely in the air? I swear that I can smell the pungent breath of the Grim Reaper chasing closely at his heels…_

     "I'm alright, Rin. I just want to be here when he wakes up."

     "But you've not taken any rest, nor have you eaten much for these few days!"

     "How can I, when he's struggling with the certainty of taking the next breath? I said I'm fine, and that's that!" I yelled at her, and felt her hand on my shoulder tremble a little. Immediately, I felt a sick wave of guilt wash over me as I realised what I had done. I had totally forgotten how words could be sharper than the blade of a knife at times.

     "I'm alright, Rin… and I'm sorry for raising my voice at you… I'm terribly jumpy because I couldn't deal with the exasperation that comes, knowing that I can't do anything to help him… Just let me alone with him, if that's okay with you?" I forced myself to look up at her, and gave a little wavering smile… silently pleading with her to agree to my request. I knew that it would be hard for her not to show anxiety at my plight, for at heart Rin was an angel in every respect of the word.

     "Sure, Quisty. But make sure you call us immediately if you need anything, okay?" Warmth reflected in her beautiful caramel eyes even though she was still biting her lip, a lingering effect of my previous outburst.

     "Thank you, Rin." Surprising even myself, I rose up from my chair beside the bed and gave her a hug, which she returned tightly a moment later.

     "Okay then, I'll leave you alone with him."

    She walked towards the door and threw a concerned look at me before turning the knob. The door opened long enough for Selphie's loud voice anxiously enquiring after my well-being to drift through the gap, before it was shut out by the closed door.

    I breathed a sigh of relief, and resumed my position beside the hospital bed while holding his hand clasped in both of mine.

    _He looks like a child when he's asleep… _I thought to myself as my eyes travelled from his fine, blond hair a lightest shade of gold to the similarly coloured eyebrows, shaped in such a way to give his face a sense of masculine sharpness, as did his piercing eyes. But they were closed now, obscured by his eyelids, whose ends lay the longest eyelashes I've ever seen. I wanted so much to reach out and touch them with my fingers, but couldn't bear to take my hands away from his.

     Perching proudly on his face was his nose, so used to being held high up in the air before the amazing transformation in him took place. I still wonder to myself what had been the cause of that. I'd like to think that I was part of it…

    And finally, the delicately shaped lips, so used to turning up at the ends into a smirk, or cracking a joke, giving a hearty laugh… how I've come to get used to all of them, only to be faced by a disheartening silence now.

   The same silence hangs oppressively in the air… I had never wished more than ever to hear his voice calling my name…

    I can still remember all too clearly what happened that day, resulting in his comatose state… even though the memory hurts me to no end, there was nothing I can do to stop myself from reliving it time after torturous time…

    I was in charge of recording the names and serial numbers of the captives, to be compiled into a report and presented to President Caraway. It was also my duty to note if any of the exam candidates were disregarding their orders. That was a rather difficult task to achieve, though, as there was nothing much to do anyway.

    _What a stupid waste of resources_… I had thought snidely to myself.

    Finally, as the truck was loaded to the hilt with the last batch of captives, I noticed that one of them and Seifer was missing. We had previously done a headcount at their base as a preventive measure and check against escapees.

     "Hey… Water Lily. Have you seen Seifer Almasy around?" I called out to one of the cadets who were in the same squad as Seifer.

     The girl looked at me questioningly before giving her reply. "He was one of the last ones to round up the bombers. Strange… I thought that he should have been here by now, as it had been twenty minutes ago that I saw him 'escorting' the last bomber from the base. Oh… I think that's the one… but where's Seifer?"

    I looked towards the direction she was pointing at, only to see a shabbily dressed young man running up to us, shouting something… but it was too far away to hear his words.

    Sure enough, there was no Seifer behind him. Alarm bells started ringing loudly in my head, for Seifer definitely would not abandon a captive without a very important reason.

     "…Bomb! …explode!" He could only gasp these words out as his breath came out in spurts.  
     "WHAT? Where?" I grabbed him forcefully. "And where's the guy who was guarding you?" I demanded as a horrible feeling gradually sunk in me.

     "Over at the vacant shop! He went to warn the children playing in front of the shop that a bomb was going off!"

    Without another word, I pushed the man towards Water Lily, and started rushing towards the bombsite.

   Too late... Too slow… Too ill-timed... Too careless...

    Everything seemed to happen in slow motion.

    Seifer going up to the child, carrying her in his arms.

    The garbage can exploded in a blinding flash of light. As the smoke billowed, chokingly black in its density, powdered plaster of the white concrete walls erupted in clouds of dusts that showered on every head in the near vicinity as pieces of shrapnel went off in every direction imaginable.

    One big piece flew towards Seifer as if on a set course of motion, hitting him on the back of his head.

     He had shielded the child with his body as the blast happened, thus she escaped unharmed.

    He managed to push her away before falling on his face, sprawled haplessly on the ground like a broken doll.

    I screamed his name as he took the fall.

    I think I saw him giving me a look as I screamed, then collapsed in a dead faint.

    He is in a comatose state now. The doctors had said that he suffered from concussion of the brain.

    There was a chance of his recovery… not an optimistic one by any count.

    I will not give up trying to wake him. I can't bring myself to write him off, just like that. He's still so young, so handsome… his life full of promise… if only he would open his eyes and welcome it in!

     "Seifer Almasy! I order you to wake up now! Hadn't you promised perfect compliance to my orders? And hadn't you agreed to be early for all your appointments, especially with me? Well, you're four days late! An unforgivable fault! I will not let you off easily if you don't answer me now! Wake up! Wake up!!!" I shook at him violently, as if it could really make him receptive to my shouts. Still his eyes remained stubbornly closed. 

    My tears came gushing out in floods. I pummelled him with my clenched fists, sobbing my heart out, pouring my immense grief along. I couldn't remember ever crying in front of anybody before… and the first time I did, the sole member of that audience wasn't even aware of it. What a bitter irony it was…

     "Don't you know that you're hurting me? Why won't you respond to my words, my cries?" I leaned against the bed in great weariness as the toll of the past four days fell upon me in a rush.

     I did not know when I fell asleep, but eventually I did, resting my head against the top of the metal guard as I held his hand steadfastly in mine, fearful of letting go.

* * *

***S***

    What? I feel like I'm drowning in a vat full of dark, murky water. It seals off all my senses, making my head feel terribly stuffed up. I shout, but it only makes the dark water flow into my mouth and choke up my words. I can't even move around, as the currents pressed strongly against my limbs and suppressed the movement.

    Someone calls my name; a voice that I've grown so used to hearing that hardly a day goes by that I do not long to hear it.

    I can't make out most of the words, but I know that she's in pain, for it reflects in such a raw way in her tone.

    There's no way I can allow that to happen.

    Something warm covers my hand… a comforting touch relaying the caring nature of its owner. I want so desperately to grasp back at it, but I barely have the strength to open my eyes, let alone move my fingers.

    However difficult it is, I must try. I shouldn't continue sleeping like this. 

    If I don't, I may lose the chance to wake up. Forever.

    Do I want to? I've failed her again by failing to follow my orders.

    But I must. It may be a struggle for me to open my eyes and face the hard truth… but I can't avoid it any longer. I have never been one to tolerate running away from the face of adversity, and I'm not about to begin now.

   And I must tell her how sorry I am to let her down.

   The harsh light assaults my sensitive pupils as I force the lids open.

    Groggily, I could make out the shape of the utilitarian florescent lights.

    My head pounds in an unrelenting way, creating a deafening noise that torments the brain.

    I want to speak, but my mouth was sealed shut, dry as a rock. My tongue seemed to have swelled to twice its size, such that the mouth could barely contain it.

   There was something covering my hand, and faint snoring noises could be heard from the left side of my bed.

    I tried to look at the source of the sounds with much difficulty, cracks sounding from my neck muscles as I moved my head.

    She leans against the metal guard of the high bed, holding my hand tightly as she slept. However, I know that it wasn't a peaceful one, for the loveliness of her little face was disturbed by a small but deep line between her brows.

    The glint of her honey-golden locks caught my eye as it captured the light of the florescent tube and reflected it prettily.

     "Seifer… wake up… please…" She mumbled in her dreams as a thin line trickled from the corner of an eye, adding yet another to the faintly visible stains already imprinted on her cheeks.

    My chest constricts tightly at the realisation that I was the cause of those stains.

    A medicinal smell drifted into my nose. It was only then that I realised where I was, and noticed the various tubes hooked to my arms, nose and chest.

    I wanted to lift a hand so that I could touch her, and tell her that I had awakened.

    My arm was much to weak to do anything much… the best I could manage was a wriggle of the fingers.

    I tried twitching the fingers of the hand she held clasped in hers.

    She didn't seem to sense it. Too bad… Not that she was to blame for it, though… the movement was simply too light for her to feel it.

    I forced open my mouth, the lips so parched that they were cracked and bleeding. It was painful, alright.

     "Q…Quisty…" I could only manage a croak, hoping against hope that she would be able to hear it clearly enough.

     "Mmm…." She replied, shifting the position of her head on the metal guard. It mustn't have been too comfortable… as I can imagine.

     "Q…Quisty…" I ventured with yet another hoarse whisper… this time a little louder than the last.

    Still, there was nary a reaction from her, except for a few noisy snores and mumbles of "Mmm…."

    I was about to give up and rest for a little while to conserve energy.

    She bolted up as if she had received an electric shock.

    Disbelief flickered across her face. As her mind started to register the fact that I was well and truly alive, a heartbreaking mixture of hope and pleading started painting her eyes. As if trying to ask if what she was seeing in front of her was true, and not just a dream.

    I could hardly stop the flush of anger and remorse that coursed through my body as I saw what I had done to her.

     "S…Seifer? You're awake? Is this true? Please tell me it isn't a dream… but it hurts when I pinch myself… you're really awake then! Thank heavens! What should I do now? I… have to… call the nurse… no wait… the doctor! Or should I get you a glass of water….?"

     "Calm down, Quisty. I'm alright now! Take your time."

     "Wait here while I call the doctor!" She said, and ran out in search of the doctor while forgetting to close the door in her hurry.

    _*Sigh…* _I had hoped to spend a little quiet time with her… maybe I shouldn't have woken her up in such a hurry… but just the thought of her in distress wrings me out. I couldn't stand it at all, especially since I'm the only reason for it.

     "Hurry up, Doctor!" Her voice preceded her presence in the room.

     "Will do, Miss Trepe." Said the doctor, heading straight for me with a stethoscope poised in readiness in his hand.

     "How are you doing, young man?" He enquired after me. A kindly looking grandfather type, he tried distracting me with a little talk while the coldness of the stethoscope touched the bare skin on my chest.

    I winced a little, then replied,

     "A little heavy-headed, parched throat, and soreness all over, but other than that, I'm fine."

    He listened intently to my heartbeat for a few moments, while a nurse took my pulse rate, looking at a wristwatch.

     "Don't worry, Miss Trepe. Even if he is still a little weak, he only needs a couple days of bed rest, plenty of fluids, and he'll be out of here in no time at all. Now, I suggest that you go back and take a much needed rest, or it'll be you whom I'm worried about." With that, he patted her on the arm, and walked off.

     "I'll leave you for a moment." The nurse said with a knowing smile, and left the room as well.

     "The doc's right, Quisty. You have to go back and rest." I looked at her with worry and admonishment. "How could you neglect yourself in such a way?"

      "But… I was so worried! The only thing that went through my mind was how important it was for me to stay by your side! I thought that I would never see your eyes open again, and I… I…" Her eyes started to redden.

     "Alright, Quisty. It's my fault. But do me a favour, and take care of yourself. Promise me that? Or I'll sleep back into that coma and never wake up again!"  
    I knew it was cruel of me to threaten her in such a way… even more so considering that I had caused it… but it was the only way I could think of to make her go back.

     "Don't ever say that again! Never! I'll go and have a rest, shower, eat, a spa even… and pamper myself to death, if that's what you want!" Her voice quivered with rage and hurt at my words.

   _I know it cuts you, Quisty… I'm really sorry… but I only said it for your own good._

    "Thank you! I'd be happy if you can do that for me!"

     "…Alright. I'll come by tomorrow again to see how you're doing." She turned to leave with reluctance influencing her every step.

    Just before she did, I grabbed her hand, and planted a soft kiss on it.

    She turned back to look at me, confusion written all over her face.

     "That was your reward for staying by my side." I remarked with my trademark upturning of the mouth.

     "You scared the hell out of me!" She yelled as her cheeks burnt furiously with a crimson shade, stumbling out of the room and closing the door noisily behind her.

    With a satisfied grin, I laid my head back onto a pillow as gently as I could, wincing a little as it touched the tender spot that was struck by a piece of the flying stuff.

    I'd better get some rest before some very boisterous fellas come visiting tomorrow… I can think of at least two such persons. Maybe I should put up a "Do Not Disturb" sign at the door and allow only certain people in.

    My thoughts started to drift away from me as the effects of the medicine started to come over me, making the mind all drowsy and sleepy… I might as well succumb to it…

* * *

    Author's notes: A pretty long chapter, don't you think? Maybe to make up for the negligence I had previously subjected my poor fic to… I bow my head in remorse…. ); Please review (I know this is the second reminder already….)!!!


	11. The New won't come if the Old doesn't go

Chapter 12– The New won't come if The Old doesn't go

* * *

********Q********

    Seifer is back at the garden after staying under observation for merely two days after he woke up from his coma. Just as well… for it would be worse for his health if he were to be bothered by sundry visitors, making it hard for him to rest. I had specifically warned Selphie and Zell not to make too much noise when they went to see him. Zell wasn't much of a problem, for he seemed much quieter than his usual self… but I had to glare at Selphie a bit to make her tone down on her loudness.

    I had to check up on him after he returned for every few hours to make sure that he had taken his prescribed medication according to the doctor's orders. This translates to three pills six times a day. It was bad enough to wear any guy down, even if he's a strong one like Seifer.

    Tomorrow is the SeeD inauguration Ball, cum Squall and Rinoa's engagement party. You could say that it was sort of a two-in-one celebration. I am heading towards Squall's dorm to do the necessary.

    I'm doing this as a first step towards fulfilling the promise I had made to Hyne, for he had answered my prayer in more ways than one. And I'm doing this for myself as well.

    I knocked on his door.

    It opened after a few seconds, to reveal a slightly puzzled Squall behind it.

     "Is there anything I can do for you, Quisty?" He asked.

     "Goodbye." I said cryptically, and walked away before he could say anything else.

    _You know this is the right thing to do, Trepe. So stop feeling like it's the end of the world._

    Yes. I have to move on in search of someone more suitable than he is. I can no longer cling on to the hope of him and me together… when there wasn't any possibility in the first place. Hold your head up, girl. You know you can get through this with little difficulty, if you can just be stronger.

    And look on the funnier side… imagine what his face must have looked like after you left him with that "Goodbye…"

    Yeah… what I wouldn't give to see it right now after that strange word I threw at him! It must have been a right riddle to him. Let him think about it until his brain could not take the burden!

    And that… is the way I intend it to be.

* * *

********Q********

    I looked at my reflection in the mirror, smoothing the fabric of the dress here, tucking a stray hair there, trying to make everything as perfect as possible.

     "You look good, if I do say so myself, Ms Trepe." I murmured, being rather pleased with my appearance.

    I had put on a spaghetti-strapped, navy satin dress with a neckline that plunged low enough to reveal a little cleavage. Barely supporting it at the back were a few criss-crossing lines, showing off the pale smooth skin and shapely curve of my spine, while the uneven hemline showed off my long legs to good effect. Many had commented that I have slim, shapely calves, and I decided to flaunt them. On my feet was a pair of silvery strappy heels, the straps going up to my knee, which gives a rather elegant look to the whole get-up.

    My hair was worn down, with big curls at the end, quite unlike the usual pin-up schoolmistress style I had. I wanted to enjoy myself as much as I could. I only hope that I do not steal the limelight from Rin.

    _Hah… such a wicked thought, Trepe. How unbecoming of you._

    A polite knock on the door could be heard. I looked at my dinner watch, and deduced that it was probably Seifer picking me up.

    Opening the door a little nervously, my eyes lit up when I saw him decked impeccably in his SeeD uniform, hair slicked back neatly. This was the first time I had seen him dressed so formally… and sure enough it took my breath away.

     "My, my… aren't we looking good?" I gave him an appreciative smile. "You're definitely going to steal the thunder from Squall as the most handsome guy in the room!"

     "Look at who's talking!" He gave an obscene wolf-whistle. "I should cover you up with my coat if I had it with me… to prevent other guys from gawking at you!"

     "Don't you dare make fun of me!" I exclaimed, trying to sound angry but failing miserably at it. "Now are you going to escort me or not? I can always find another…"

     "Alright, I surrender, your Highness! Now… may I have the pressure, my Divine Ms. Trepe?" He bowed gallantly, offering his hand to me.

     "Of course you may… but the word's pleasure!" Ahh… I can't seem to get the tutor's habits out of my system… correcting his mistakes at a time like this.

    I took his hand as queen-like as I could manage, hardly suppressing the giggle coming to my lips.

     "Ah, but it was a deliberate mistake. It is highly pressurizing for me to escort such a gorgeous lady!"

     "Indeed!" I tried to hold my head high up in the air to match the haughty tone. "Let's go, shall we?"

    As we approached the ballroom, I felt glad, not for the first time since that day, that Seifer had asked me to be his dance partner.

    I knew that I could not have faced this alone.

    True, my feelings for Squall had lessened considerably, and I owe most of it to the one holding my hand now.

    But it was still unbearably hard for me to see them together.

    It was hard as well as to watch so many couplings twirling around the dance floor. I could very well break down in public if the place beside me was empty.

    Hand in hand, we sauntered across the centre of the dance floor, towards the other end where the star couple and our friends were mingling.

    I could hear a stir going through the crowd. Some were casting admiring glances at us, while the majority speculated and gossiped about our relationship, or what it appeared to be. They would most definitely have jumped to conclusions. I'd be surprised if they didn't.

     "I knew they were going out. A former Instructor tutoring an ex-Cadet… sparks were bound to fly!"

     "I wonder if she had a hand in his passing the exam..."

     "Why is it that this kind of person can become a SeeD? He was the one who killed so many of our fellow colleagues! What will the Garden Community come to now?"

    Comments such as the above were flying around, quite audibly.

    I sneaked a sideway look at him, worried that he might have taken them badly… especially that last comment was more of a personal attack than anything else.

    There wasn't a trace of agitation on his face.

    He gave me a smile that seemed to say that he was not going to take them to heart.

    I marvelled at how remarkably composed he appeared to be… even _I_ could not have stayed as unmoved by those people and their brutal comments.

     "Hey, Quisty, Seifer!! Over here!" Selphie waved excitedly at us, her voice piercing the air across the distance between them and us.

    "Wow, you two make a handsome couple!" Rinoa exclaimed as we went up to join them.

     "A hot babe and a cool dude… and you've got a fine lookin' pair!" Zell chipped in with his compliments too.

     "Thank you! You look gorgeous too!" I said, looking around the group while mentally appraising them.

    The guys all wore the SeeD uniform as if it had been agreed among them… sort of a unanimous decision, I suppose. For even though it was a uniform, the SeeD Jacket and Pants combination was quite elaborate in their detail, not to mention an elegant cut. It wouldn't be very far from the truth if one were to say that it was formal enough for black tie functions. In fact… I think that they look even better in it than in a plain old tuxedo.

    Even Irvine had a SeeD uniform, for he had converted from a hired hand to official SeeD so that he could stay in the Garden with his love, Selphie. It didn't take too long, for all he had to do was perform some paperwork. The fact that he had made crucial contributions to the defeat of Sorceress Ultimecia speeded things along… a lot.

    Next to him stood Selphie, clinging onto his arm while talking in her customary high-pitched voice, turning from one person to the next. Hers was a champagne V-shaped halter-neck ending at mid-thigh, as she liked her dresses short. Her hair was styled in its usual way with flipped ends, held in place by a pair of diamante hair slides. Stars danced in her eyes as she looked endearingly at the man she loved, rejecting the need for accessories, as those were already bright enough. No wonder the perpetual playboy in Irvine could find it in himself to settle down with a girl… if anyone could do it, it had to be Selphie.

    Next to them, Zell stood with his hand around Yuri. Now there was something disturbingly different about him these days. Even though I had been living in a daze-like state, I had still noticed it. He seemed less hyperactive, less immature… and there was an added sense of melancholy hovering around him. Sometimes, he was so engrossed in his own world that even a plate of the hotdogs he loved so much couldn't interest him. None of us knew what had caused this… he refused to let on anything, insisting he was fine. Bullshit.

    And still Yuri remained all gentle and nice to him, not showing even a trace of anger at his negligence. Negligence…? Yeah. He kept drifting off to who-knows-where, and didn't seem to notice the pleading looks she kept giving to him. I could still remember the excitement and anticipation in her eyes when we went shopping for her dress. She had her eye on the most elegant little one and bought it without a second thought. Now, here she is in her white off-shoulder dress, looking as pretty as a daisy but he didn't even notice it, or give her the attention that she deserved for making such an effort to please him, taking such care with her appearance. He just kept touching something in his pocket. It makes me hopping mad… but I'm not in the position to interfere, am I?

    Enough about him… it totally spoils my mood.

    Speaking of which… Rin looks absolutely enchanting, fulfilling her role as the star of the evening with ease. What she had chosen was a strapless pearl affair with a cut that accentuated her delicate curves, the skirt made of a floaty material… organza if I'm not wrong. The hem hovered an inch above her knee, showing off her slim pale legs clad in a pair of matching strappy wedges.

    _She looks like a goddamned fairy tale princess! _I thought angrily to myself. _While next to her, I look like a thirty-something cabaret girl of some sort!_

    Those self-complimentary thoughts I had given myself in front of the mirror were long forgotten, all but flushed down the drain. Instead, my inferiority complex took over easily, as was the norm when Rin was around.

    It was near impossible to feel good about myself when she's near. How can I compare, measure up against her? I was bound to lose.

    And truly, she was the only one who deserves to win Squall's heart.

    I admit my defeat, no questions asked.

     "May I have the honour of dancing with you, my dearest Ms Trepe?" Seifer's voice penetrated my thoughts… and at the most appropriate moment too. I can't imagine what I would do if my mind stayed further on those unhealthy thoughts.

      "Of course. It is my pleasure to have such a strong and dashing pair of hands to dance with!" I took his hand, and we proceeded to the dance floor, where many of the couples had already started.

    As we glided in time with the music, a waltzy version of "Eyes on Me" also known as "Dance to the Moon", I found myself staring into his eyes and wondering if this was for real. I could never have imagined myself dancing with him before the events in the past year had taken place.

    Before I had found out that I could be attracted to someone other than Squall.

    Maybe, just maybe, this man could help me recover from my wounds.

    I cling onto this thin hope as ferociously as I clung onto his arm.

     "Are you trying to test my biceps, Quisty? However hard they may be, it would still hurt if you grip them too tightly!" He said with a laugh.

     "Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't realise that I had been exerting so much force!" I loosened my grip in a hurry, and almost tripped over my own feet if not for his arms trying to balance me.

    _What a downright klutz you are!_ I chided myself fiercely. _Is that the way you impress a man?_

     "Take it easy… I didn't mean for you to loose your balance! Whatever happened to your mind and limb coordination?"

     "Could you kindly stop teasing me? I'm embarrassed enough as it is!"

     "Relax. You don't need to don a mask around me."

    I started a little, hearing the hidden meaning behind his words. Lifting my head timidly, I found his face to be serious, a change from the joking one a moment ago.

     "I mean it, Quisty." He emphasised with a meaningful look.

    I didn't know how or what to answer.

    As if on cue, it was time for us to change our dance partners.

    As my luck would have it, I came face to face with Squall.

    _Great Hyne… you just had to give me these riddles, don't you?_

"Hey, Squall. I think this is the first time we danced together." I attempted to break the palpable silence that hung between us.

     "Yeah…" He nodded.

    Even though he was still giving few worded answers, his demeanour had softened considerably… a far cry from the Squall who had told me to speak to a wall… and this was all to Rinoa's credit.

    Once again, I am reminded of what she had that I didn't.

     "Quisty……?" You could tell that he was struggling with his approach to the question.

     "Hmm…?" I think I can guess what it was about.

     "Why did you come up to my room, say goodbye, then leave?" He had a strangest look on his face. I couldn't quite classify it, even with my vast vocabulary, something I had always prided myself on.

     "Oh, forget about that. It was a silly bet I had on with a friend. And I lost it, sort of." I smirked at him, hoping to throw him off my scent.

     "Oh… okay…" I think he was still a little suspicious.

     "Don't worry, I won't be leaving the Garden before I turn eighty, if that's what you're thinking."

     "Huh?" He had a "how-did-you-know-I-was-thinking-about-that" look on his face.

     "I have sixth sense, woman's feeling, hah!"

    A change of partners again; this time it was Irvine. We chatted a bit about him and Selphie being next on the list. Well, I was the one who did the talking while he kept giving me horrified looks and wiped his brow with a hand. That wasn't smooth dance either.

    The song finally ended, much to my relief. I was wondering how long I could keep up the façade.

    _I've had enough…_I muttered to myself, and head towards the balcony at the other end, trying to keep as low profile as possible.

    I stare into the night sky, tiny powdery stars were scattered all over it while the crescent moon hung sadly by itself amongst them.

    It was a clear night, unobstructed by clouds.

    A gentle breeze blows past my cheek, lifting a little of my hair away from the face.

    What are you doing to yourself, girl? One moment, you're all flustered and worried over Seifer, and the next, you're acting all silly over Squall!

_    It is time to give it up, whether you like it or not. You've promised Hyne, you've promised yourself. You've even said your goodbye. What more is there to hope for?_

     "Talking to yourself again, Quisty? You shouldn't make that a habit, or you'll end up having trouble talking to other people." Seifer came up behind me, so close that I could feel his breath on the cold skin of my neck.

    I turned around awkwardly and faced him, backing a few steps away until I was fully pressed against the wall.

     "How did you know that I was out here?" I thought that I had gone relatively unnoticed… as I had seen him talking animatedly (!) with another newly graduated SeeD… Water Lily I think… while I was on my way out.

     "Oh, that was Water Lily. Speaking of whom, she has an unhealthy obsession with Zell."

    He looked at me with solemnity.

     "I had seen you leaving as soon as you slipped out of the room. Nothing you do ever escapes my eye, cos I have it on you whenever you're near, where my line of vision permits. I can't tear it away from you. Do you know why?" His eyes stared into mine, a tender light shining in them.

     "No… Enlighten me…" I was mesmerized by them… they seemed to suck my whole consciousness within, these shimmering pools of blue. I could feel myself drowning…drowning in them…

     "I'm in love with you, Quistis Trepe. I didn't know when I started to fall for you, but I'm sure enough of its presence, its strength, and what it can do for you."

     "And that is…?"  
     "It provides a shoulder for you to cry on; a shelter in the rain; an emergency harbour. Even though I know that there's still another present in your heart."

    His voice faltered a little towards the end, and a cloud glazed his eyes over at that point.

    I think I recognise what caused this cloud… for often I have felt the same way myself.

    _What have I done? How could I hurt him in such a way? Not only him… what about those self-inflicted wounds?_

     "I'm… I'm sorry, Seifer. I didn't mean to…"

     "Hush… Quisty. I don't want you to say sorry. I just need you to know that I'm willing to wait for you until the wounds heal, the pain subsides, and until you can find it in yourself to love me, whole-heartedly."

     "You're such a fool! What if I can't?"

     "Then I'll be a fool forever. I'll wait until my hair turns into the colour of snow, until my face becomes as full of lines as a bull-dog's…"

     "I don't deserve you… I don't…"

    I was greatly moved. Here was a man who was willing to make the promise to wait for me forever, so why am I hesitating then?

    Was I afraid of giving my heart away again?

    Was I unsure of opening myself up and exposing my vulnerability?

    Or was it because I was frightened of being hurt again?

    _Quistis Trepe, you're such a coward._

     "Do not question the genuineness of my love for you, Quisty. Even though I might not look that way, but I burn to hold you in my arms every single waking minute, perhaps even in my dreams. If you can't accept my love, then I ask you to reject me at once. I cannot stand it if the question hangs in mid-air! At least, give me a quick stab in the heart and let me give it all up. Or show me the way to Heaven by nodding your head."

    I look up at him wordlessly.

    Do I have feelings for him?

    _Of course you do! How else would you explain the emptiness, the helplessness you had felt as he laid in a coma… as the threat of him never opening his eyes again troubles you to no end?_

    But what about Squall?

    _What about him? I thought you had that resolved already? He's no longer a possibility. He ceased to be one ever since Rin appeared. And you know it well enough._

What if I'm just using Seifer as a replacement for Squall?

    _Have faith in yourself, girl. And have faith in him as well. If his feelings weren't for real, then why is it that he professes to wait forever? This kind of good man is hard to come by… not in a million years could you meet another who feels so right. And do not forget that he was always there for you at your neediest times!_

_    Think about how sad it would be without him._

    NO!!! I can't bear for that to happen!

    _There you have your answer, silly girl!_

    Who are you?

    _A voice within yourself… that's all you need to know._

    After that little internal struggle had faded away, I finally made up my mind.

    I let my head lower with a small nod.

    I wonder if he saw it.

     "Quisty… do you really mean it?" He clutched at my shoulder in excitement.

    With blood rushing to my cheeks, I uttered a small yes.

     "Quisty!!" HE cried and held me tightly in his arms, as if never wanting to let go.

    Hesitatingly, my arms went around him and wrapped around his back.

    I had never imagined how good it felt to have someone hold you so closely. Sharing the warmth of two bodies pressed tightly against each other, I didn't feel like letting go too.

    I bury my head into his shoulder, my arms going up to meet at the back of his neck, while his own slid down to rest against my waist.

    Music from the floor streamed in through the balcony door.

    A song that seemed to fit the situation so well, and strikes a chord in both our hearts.

    Holding our position, we swayed from side to side in time with the music.

IF

By Bread

If a picture paints a thousand words

Then why can't I paint you?

The words will never show

The you I've come to know

If a face could launch a thousand ships

Then where am I to go?

There's no one home but you

You're all that's left me to

And when my love for life is running dry

You come and pour yourself on me

If a man could be two places at one time

I'd be with you

Tomorrow and today

Beside you all the way

If the world should stop revolving

Spinning slowly down to die

I'd spend the end with you

And when the world was through

Then one by one the stars would all go out

Then you and I would simply fly away~~~~

     "I'll always be here for you…" He whispered into my ear.

     "As I will…" I returned his promise.

    He lifted up my chin with one hand, and pressed his lips against mine.

    Giving a soft sigh that was muffled by our sealed lips, I fell to the weakness that took over my body and buckled my knees.

    It tasted so sweet, but at the same time, there was a sourness that only served to enhance the pleasure.

    I found myself falling deeply for him.

    Why had it taken me so long, and so hard to see it?

    It had taken a moving declaration, a hug and a kiss for me to admit to my feelings for him.

     "I love you, Seifer." I said lowly after our lips unlocked.

     "I knew it all along." He said with a smirk.

    It was strange how this upturning of his lips had become so endearing to me, only because it reminded me of him.

     "Like I believe you. Didn't someone say that he'd rather I stab his heart with a knife than leave the question hanging in the air? Hmm…" I pretended to consider about it.

     "Hey… that was a hypothetical suggestion! Don't take it seriously, Hyne Forbid!" He sounded as it the world was coming to an end. How interesting.

     "Hah… once you've said it, the possibility remains on the cards." I sneaked a sideway look with my right eye.

    He was scared speechless, mouth opening and shutting like that of a goldfish.

     "You silly, I was only joking." I gloated, imitating his trademark expression.

     "Why you cheeky little…" He started to tickle me at my fatal spot… now how did he know where it was?  
     "No… stop! I promise to be good!"

     "Hey, guys, looks like you're having fun!"

     "Ah…. Sefie! You guys finished dancing?" Seifer stops his tickling and asks in a sheepish tone.

     "Sure did. The band was starting to pack up anyway."

     Sefie gestured at the live band hired exclusively for the ball.

     "And then we see you two having more fun than we did!" Rinoa glared at us accusingly, but the mischievous glint gave her away.

     "What can I say? I am great company!" Seifer gives a shrug of his shoulders.

     "Some day, people are going to get so sick of your bragging that nothing you ever say will hold creditability!" I retorted, rolling my eyes at the others.

     "HaHaHaHaHa… you two are a scream. Let's go. The lights are going off soon… and the hired cleaners are giving us dirty looks already." Irvine said, his arm going around Sefie's tiny waist.

* * *

********Q********

    "Wanna come in for some coffee?" I asked him as we walked up to the door of my dorm.

    "Naah… I don't think so. I'm afraid I might not be satisfied with just coffee." He snarled with a wolfish face, making a grab for my dress as I skipped away nimbly.  
     "Oh no you don't, you Big Bad Wolf! I'd personally turn into the woodcutter and chop you into pieces with an axe!"

     "You're not Little Red Ridin' Hood yourself. Anyway…… both of us need to rest. Tomorrow's your first day as Instructor after regaining your license, and mine as a SeeD."

     "Are you sure?" I was reluctant to face my empty bed. Anything but that… after I've known the comforting warmth of his body.

     "Yes. Now don't grate on my resolve any longer, my Dear Instructor Trepe."

     "Oh… now that's a nostalgic greeting I haven't heard for quite a while. I almost missed it, you know."

     "You'll get to hear it alright… everyday in fact, now that I'm back and you're once more the fierce Instructor who lectures me for not paying attention."

     "Yeah, right. Now I deserve at least a goodnight kiss, don't I?"

    Without a word, he cupped my head with his left hand and tilted it towards his.

    We exchanged our second kiss, longer and much more satisfying than the first without carrying a hoot that some errant party-returner would stumble upon us.

    Truly a pioneer among the countless ones that followed…

* * *

    **_What Water Lily and Seifer said at the ball._**

    WL: Hey Seifer. Wanna take a bet?

     Seifer: What kind of bet?

    WL: How many hotdogs Zell will consume tonight.

    Seifer: Yer on!

    WL: I'd say five.

    S: FIVE?!! I'm gonna win fer sure! I'd say at least ten! You are grossly under-estimating his gluttony!

    WL: I will stick by my bet, and that's that!

    S: So… what are the stakes?

    WL: If any of us win, the other can command the loser to do whatever the winner wants.

    S: Deal. Now I will start thinking about what errands I want you to run…

    WL: HEHEHEHEHEHEEH (eerie laughter)

    To be continued.

   ******************************************

    Author's notes: Omigod… I hadn't realised how long this was until I uploaded onto fanfic.net… no wonder it took much longer than usual.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           


	12. Adventures at Balamb Beach aka How I wis...

Chapter 12 – Adventures at Balamb Beach

(A.k.a. How I wish I had been more careful)

    Author's Notes: I just realised that I had numbered the previous chapters wrongly… damn it. I'll change the rest only when I've finished the whole fic… 

    Okay, if you've read Return to Me, Zell would have mentioned about the Adventures at Balamb Beach in one of the first few chapters (I think titled Back on Track). Here is Seifer's version… which like he said would be more _interesting_ (Wriggles eyebrows suggestively.)

--------S--------

    Hmm… How exactly did I make the grade? I'm not really clear about that myself.

    But I later found out that even before the announcements were out, the gang had rounded up a petition and presented it to the Headmaster, demanding that I had to be made a SeeD. The incredible thing was that they actually managed to get _one hundred and fifty_ signatures! A hundred and fifty? And all along I thought that the people in the Garden hated me… except for a select few.

    It was rather hard for the Headmaster to refuse, though. The newspapers were splashed with my face and headlines screaming, "Future SeeD saves girl from blast." Imagine what would happen if I wasn't made a SeeD, with all that publicity. There would be a huge uproar over the Balamb Garden Community, as well as the Galbadian region if I didn't make it.

    A thing that disturbs me, and quite a disturbance it was too… was how easily the people forget. Have they really forgotten? Or is this a false peacefulness that covers over an impending disaster, like the deadly calm that enshrouds the surroundings before a huge storm?

    No matter what the answer… I cannot forget it myself. I will not allow myself to.

    My reputation among those who liked to criticise me sort of worsened, actually, for they started saying that I only saved the child with the aim of passing the SeeD exam. It seems that nothing I do could ever please all of them… Which wasn't my intention anyway.

    I hadn't really thought about being a hero. I only reacted on reflex. Maybe I didn't want to see such a small child die, only because some errant youngsters were too careless. Maybe she reminded me of Quisty… I don't know…

    And so I finally I made it as SeeD… in just one month after my readmission. That was some sort of record, I guess. I have to say, I'm pretty proud of myself. I could see that Quisty was too, from the megawatt grin she beamed at all when the Headmaster came up to present the certificate of Graduation to me.

      "Psst… Psst… I'm glad that the gunblade area isn't monopolised by Squall any longer, with you around!" whispered Headmaster Cramer. I never got the reason behind his perpetual whispering.

    All the members of my squad got in too: Water Lily, Nobu and Doug. I think we had an awfully easy exam compared to past cohorts, as we hardly did any combat at all. _It was such a shoo-in!_ Some of the disgruntled SeeDs had said.

    Well, I was damn glad, shoo-in or not, cos I wouldn't have to feel bad that they didn't pass, when a rule-breaker (and something else…) such as myself did. I could understand more than anyone else how it felt to be left behind.

    Now it was my turn to beam, for Quisty was presented with her freshly renewed Instructor License. It looked pretty much like a platinum credit card with the SeeD logo and a picture on the upper-right corner. In fact, I'll bet that she could easily get a discount in some of the stores in Balamb (and maybe even Esthar, what with the President's 'connections' with SeeD) if she were to flash it there… but that's only a wild guess… and she sure as hell wouldn't use it in that way, being the morally upright Instructor that she was.

    On the very same night of the inauguration ceremony, they held one of the grandest balls in SeeD/Garden history. You see, it was a combination of the SeeD inauguration ball, as well as Squall and Rinoa's engagement party.

    I think you would have read from Quisty how it went… and I'm too damn embarrassed to talk about it. I thought such things should have been kept to ourselves! But she's brave enough to make it public, and I admire her for it.

    One thing I'll say though, was that I hadn't planned on confessing my feelings towards her that very night. I had wanted to wait until the storm passes over then break her in slowly.

    Storm? Of course there'd be a storm. I had said that I've noticed the torch she held for Squall, didn't I? This being his and another girl's engagement, how could Quisty not feel all tossed about like a stray leaf in the wind?

    But when I saw her going out to the balcony alone… my mind stopped functioning completely, and impulse took over.

    I'm glad I listened to it.

    They say fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

    She said I was a fool for vowing to wait for her until she turns to me.

    But I say, let me be a fool then, cos I'll be a happy fool.

    If Hyne were to strike me dead this moment, I'd go with a smile on my lips. _Hey Hyne, a hypothetical statement, don't take it seriously, eh?_

    I've got so much going on for me… what did I ever do to deserve this stroke of good luck?

    It must be the grace of Hyne protecting me, because I've accepted and handed out the gift of love.

    Yuck… excuse me if I sound like a poetry-spouting Casanova… I can't help it… even as I disgust myself with the words.

    I meant every word of it, to the bottom of my heart.

    Maybe I'd been too contented with the peaceful state I was in… too smug that my friends accepted me the way I was.

    I started falling back to my old ways.

    Where the insults cut like a knife, blind to the changing dispositions of the intended recipient.

    And the repercussions hit right back me, literally.

     "Stop it, Zell!" Rinoa screamed as Squall and Irvine tried to hold him back.

    I felt light-headed, after having met his fist straight-on with my nose. Blood started dripping from it, staining my greyish-white coat.

    _Damn it's gonna be hard to get rid of the red…_I thought to myself in annoyance, totally missing the main point.

    Quisty grabbed a napkin and tried to stem the steady flow.

    _He must have been really pissed. _I muttered to myself, and gawked stupidly at him… while still sitting like a big fat stalagmite on the floor.

     "S...sorry." He actually apologised? I thought I should be the one to do that, cos I was the one who started it.

    But before I can open my mouth, he ran away from us, while Yuri chased after him in great hurry.

    The rest didn't know what to do. Suddenly, everyone had lost their appetites.

     "C'mon, I'll take you to the infirmary." Quisty grabbed my hand and started dragging me towards the place.

     "But I'm fine!" I started to protest, but wisely shut up when I saw her reddened face.

    She was either going to cry any minute now, or she'll blow up like an atomic bomb.

    I sure wasn't going to start any of it…

--------S--------

    There was a big hoo-ha when word got around that Zell had practised his punching on me. Now don't be going around thinking that I was the culprit.  I was too ashamed of myself to utter a peep on it, but those busybodies who witnessed it kept yakking non-stop! How I wished I could gag them up and throw all of them off the Balamb Harbour!

    I kept telling them time and again that it was my fault, but did they listen? No!

    The disciplinary committee, which was now made up of Brutus, that Conceited SeeD with a crush on Yuri, Yakuza, some unknown new upstart who acts as if his father owns the Garden, and Linda. Linda was one of those Trepies. I think each of them had a grudge against either Zell or myself, and they deliberately gave a hard penalty so that we would feel guilty about a few stupid punches. I really don't see the point in restricting his missions for a month! What kind of disciplinary committee was this, to hand out punishments based on their personal preferences? I remember that when _I _was in the DC, I was always impartial to all! Hey… what are you sniggerin' at?

    The strangest thing was, Zell had accepted it without a second word.

     "Something's dreadfully wrong with Zell!" I told Quisty as I watched him shut the door to his room. Lately, all he ever does was stay in his room or go training by himself in the Training Centre. (Yet breaking another rule….)  He was just like a robot with only two programmed destinations!

     "That's such a gross understatement!" Quisty replied with a heavy sigh. "But he refuses to even see us… he's avoiding us like plague! How can we help him like this, then?"  
     "I'll find a way!" I declared, hell-bent on setting things right.

    I wasn't going to let him flounder in despair; whatever's causing it.

    He was one of the first to include me in, even going with me on those field-training trips whenever I asked… even though I had constantly bullied him from the time we were kids until my final days in Balamb Garden before I got kicked out.

    And now, I continue to bully him by calling him by that dreaded nickname, "Chicken-wuss"… make that  "Daydreaming Chicken-wuss"! I shouldn't have taken the liberty he gave me for granted.

     "Enough is enough!" I yelled out of the blue.

    Quisty jumped at my raucous voice.

     "What?!" She gasped, putting up a hand to calm her heart.

     "I have to take action instead of sitting around all day!" I stared into her eyes, which were wide with amazement, and stormed off towards the Headmaster's office.

--------S--------

     "Headmaster, Sir! I have a request to make!" I went straight to the point after dispensing with the salute.

     "Is this regarding the lifting of Zell Dintch's restriction?"

     "Sir, you're so incredibly perceptive! That is indeed my humble request!"

     "Oh, it's not the way you think it is. Some others… three in fact, have come up to me and asked for the same thing. But he did not come to discuss it with me himself… so there's really nothing I can do about it."

     "Why don't you let me handle this, Sir? By the end of the day, I'm sure that he'd be back to his old self… or at least regain his functionality as a SeeD."

     "Alright. I'll leave it in your hands. I expect a report from you tomorrow morning, regardless of the success or failure of your attempt."

     "Yes, Sir!"

     "Dismissed!"  
    Oh, he may have looked stern, but I knew he cared for us like a father would.

    Now, how do I go about changing Zell's mind? I have to think of a plan. Maybe I should fish around for ideas. Speaking of ideas… I can think of at least one person with loads of 'em…

--------S--------

    I stretched out fully on the canvas, enjoying the soothing breeze and deliciously warm rays of the sun on my bare skin.

    I was slowly drifting off to meet the dream-weaver when I suddenly realised that Quisty was talking to me.

    I thought that she went out into the sea with Zell and Yuri while I decided to laze like a log here on the sand? How long had she been lying beside me? I must have gotten too comfortable.

     "Seifer! Are you listening to a word that I'm saying?" 

    _She's in Instructor mode again…_I thought with a snigger.

     "What's so funny?" She demanded to be let in on the joke… but I wouldn't say a single word if I valued my life.

     "I'm just marvelling at how good you look in that little bikini of yours." I leered at her and pretended to wipe at some imaginary saliva dripping off the side of my mouth.

     "You're disgusting, Seifer! As I was saying a second ago, Zell looks like he's enjoying himself. This might be a big step towards his recovery!"

     "Yeah, all thanks to yours truly." I replied with a satisfied grin.

     "How can you hog all the credit? Sefie was the one who suggested the beach!" She propped herself up on one elbow to look at me.

     "I was the one who came up with the idea of pulling him outdoors so that he doesn't have mould growing on him from all that holing up! I think that deserves a big reward!" I frowned like a tantrum-throwing kid.

     "So what do you want then? A lollipop? Or the newest toy in town? I can even throw in the new PS2 console you've been wanting for so long!"

     "I want YOU!" I snarled and pounced on a giggling and protesting Quisty.

     "Stop kidding around!"

     "Who sayz I'm kiddin'?"

--------S--------

    I think I shouldn't give you all the details, but suffice to say when we emerged from our "hideaway" of some sort, all flushed and happy… the gang stood staring at us while Sefie pointed out at Quisty and collapsed into a fit of giggles without so much as coming up for a change of breath.

     "Seifer, my man… you like to leave your mark on you girl, don't you?" Irvine grinned at me knowingly.

     Totally missing what he was hinting at, I glanced at Quisty, only to spot to my immense horror, a glaringly visible red mark on her… erm… the area below her collarbone. Now why hadn't I noticed it before?

     "Ah…hah… lot's of mosquitoes here!" I clapped my hands in the air to squash an imaginary bug.

     "Yeah~~~ Right!" Zell said with a Cheshire Cat-like face.

      "What are you guys talking about?" Quisty was still totally in a fog that she was the subject of our exchanges.

     "Mm….hmmp… Quisty… look down… your… HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Rinoa finally burst out in great peals of laughter, unable to hold it in any longer.

    She looked down, and her face changed colours with alarming regularity, from red to white to red again… and finally shot a look that screamed "BLOODY MURDER" at me.

     "Eh… guys… hadn't we better pack up soon? Looks like it's going to rain soon." I tried to plan a path of escape for myself, silently pleading with them to help.

     "Oh, Squall and I gotta go pay our respects on my mother's grave." Rinoa dragged a dumbfounded Squall along with her towards the direction of Balamb town… evidently I won't be getting any help from _them._

     "Irvy and I are going back to Trabia Garden to visit our friends!" That was Sefie attempting to ditch the sinking ship.

     "We are…? Oww… my ear!"

     "Oh, I've to talk to Headmaster Kramer about resuming my missions… I can hardly wait." Zell gave a sly grin.

     "I'll accompany you!" Yuri volunteered enthusiastically.

     "Thanks, my love! Let's go!" They took off with the only car left, the other having been taken by Sefie and Irvine…

     _Traitors… all of them!_ I thought in annoyance, which was quickly replaced by an urgent need to run.

     "Let's go back. Then I'll find a way to deal with you." Quisty said in a tight voice.

    Oh Boy… I could really use a bit of distraction now.

********Q*******

    I hadn't been as furious as I acted… towards Seifer, that is. I just wanted to let him have a taste of what it would be like if I were to be angry at him. This would come in handy for future emergencies, say, when I need his credit card to buy some clothes, or want him to accompany me to shopping trips. Blackmail? I hardly thought so… it was a perfectly legitimate way to get back at him. For what? For giving me one of the most embarrassing moments in my entire life! No thank y9ou! I would have to teach him a lesson to ensure that there wouldn't be a remote possibility of such a thing happening again!

    What did I do? Give him the cold shoulder? NO. That would have been too easy for him. And it was also the oldest trick in the book which I'd rather not use until I was desperate.

    Quite simply, but as effective as any other method, I started punishing him in little ways… like adding too much sugar in his beverage when I know that he dislikes sweet stuff; buying a salad for his lunch instead of the usual meaty stuff, filling his room with a sickly-sweet smelling artificial air freshener…

    Before long, he came begging for mercy.

     "Quisty… I know I was at fault… so please stop?"

       "Stop what? I don't recall having done anything to you? Are you insinuating that I'm a petty woman?"

     "No…no… darling! I didn't mean it that way at all. But please forgive me, I'll do anything you ask of me from now on!"

     "Anything…?" I asked with a raised eyebrow and questioning look.

     "Yes, whatever strikes your fancy! Even if it means getting an ice-cream from Esthar in the middle of the night!"

     "Alright. Consider yourself forgiven. But don't forget what you promised me."

      "Yeah! My baby!" he came up to me, eager as a puppy for a hug. But I simply walked away with a smug look on my face.

    End of Round One of One. I win.

* * *

    **_Outcome of the bet between Seifer and Water Lily……_**

    Water Lily approaches Zell when Yuri went to freshen up in the little girl's room.

    WL: Zell Zell

     Z: Who you?

    WL (Murderous look): Never mind.

     Z: W'ussup?

    WL: How many hotdogs did you eat, or plan to eat tonight?

     Z: Four… ain't got an appetite.

    WL: YES! I WIN! Thank you thank you thank you! (Gives him a peck on the cheek.)

     Z: Yuck.

    Water Lily goes looking for Seifer to "collect" her winnings, but he has disappeared, in search of Quisty.

    WL: Well, at least I gained a kiss… happy!

    Author's Notes: Yes. I know what Yakuza stands for (For your information, it is the Japanese equivalent of the Mafia)… thank you very much if you're thinking of educating me on the inappropriate use of Japanese words. And please read and review, although it hardly needs to be said every time… but like the nag and bore that typifies me, I have to repeat myself ad nauseam.


	13. The Estharian Mission aka I hate those E...

Chapter 13 – The Estharian Mission

(A.k.a. I hate those Estharian Robes!)

    WL: Finally… the end of the road is evident. I would have thought thirteen chapters would be long enough… but still a few more to come. Not to worry… it'll be over before you can say "Peach Battle Gear and a Greyish-White Coat."

    Celestine: In case you didn't notice… that was a pretty long title… how do you come up with such stupid ones, I wonder?

    WL: Is it any of your business?

    Celestine: I'm just bored. You have to understand… I haven't seen any action since you started with this story…

    WL: You've got a point there… hmm… maybe I should review the tenancy agreement I signed with those two and see if there's anything I can do about it.

    Quisty: Psst Psst… did you hear that? She's going to rip us off again.

    Seifer: Did you read the fine print when you signed it?

    Quisty: No, did you?

    Seifer: I didn't as well!

    Quisty: Didn't I tell you not to sign any agreements with suspicious-looking people? What kind of good stuff did she give you?

   Seifer (Stares at her speechlessly) and thinks to himself: _You were the one who insisted on signing it…_

Quisty: What?

Seifer: I was dumb, okay?

WL: Quit hogging the space you didn't pay for.

* * *

------S------

    I have a feeling I had been duped by Quisty; twirled around her little finger. In fact… if I were to marry her, there might be a dangerously high chance of me being a hen-pecked husband.

    No… hen-pecked isn't the word… it was merely a show of respect on my part towards the one I love dearly. What kind of man would I be, if I were to begrudge her on little things? People always advise that if you want a lasting relationship, you should always let the woman win the argument. I agree on this fully. No questions asked. When you compare the benefit of having a peace of mind with the short-termed satisfaction of winning at an argument, the former heavily outweighs the latter.

    That isn't to say that I let her will dominate over mine. If the matter were due for discussion, I would present my view as well.

    The idea of settling down with Quisty came when I was hit with the realisation that she was "The One." How did I know? It was a gradual thing, as I slowly realised how lost and abnormal I would be without her.

    This was most acutely felt when we went on that mission to investigate the Great Mother in Esthar.

    Zell would have briefed you on the Great Mother in his story, so I wouldn't go into the nitty-gritty details.

    When we posed undercover as worshippers of the GM, I would try to search for her amidst the sea of pastels at the other side of the hall. I wasn't always successful, but when I did spot her, there would be a pang in my chest. I realised that even as we were in the same place, I couldn't reach out to touch her, see her smile, or hear her voice. I could not kiss her, or hold her soft body in my arms, something I've gotten used to doing everyday.

    She had felt the same way I did. I knew it the moment we met at the fountain at night. Her wonderful eyes were covered with a clear film of tears, rolling down to her cheeks as she clutched at my shoulders. I looked at her longingly, and wiped her cheek with my hand, heart aching with an unbearable burden at my inability to comfort her.

    I could not find the words that relay how much I had missed her.

    Then, as if picking for a right moment, a stone could be heard rolling across the dusty ground. It obviously hadn't gone there on its own. Zell was probably nearby, signalling his presence.

    Sure enough, a cough sounded and he emerged from his place in the shadows among the shrubs.

    How I wished that I could have held her a little longer then. How long was the damned mission going to last? At the rate this is going, I'm gonna turn insane pretty soon. And it shows in my eyes, and my tone, I know.

     "Chicken-wuss, you're too optimistic for your own good. Or should I say, simple-minded? The appearance of that lousy 'Great Mother' does not guarantee that we can escape from this dung hole! For all you know, it might spell an even longer period here for us! If she's as suspicious as she appears to be… there's a lot of snooping around to do!" I said, an edge creeping up in my voice. I'm going to blow up any minute now…

    If not for Quisty's warning glances at me, I might very well have done so, and all that endurance of the incessantly mindless chanting and bowing, and the repulsive smell of jasmine would have come to nothing. She didn't say anything, but just an exchange of looks was enough to calm my boiling exasperation down.

******S******

    This same exasperation, however, threatened to engulf me the next day as I stand with my hands clenched at my uselessness. There she was, fraught with distraught after the GM supposedly had discovered who we really were.

    I had feared that this was the most likely case, but I couldn't bring it upon myself to break the news to her. I so wanted gather her in my arms, hold her tightly, stroke her hair and tell her that it's okay…

     "Calm down, baby. Maybe she just wants to enquire after the newcomers. There might not be any implication at all!" I cooked up some lousy lie, and prayed hard that she would believe it.

    She doesn't… I can see that. But not wanting to worry me, she just nods her head.

    My darling… how strong she is, even in the face of such uncertainty.

    It only serves to remind me how deep my love for her was.

------Q------

    I totally lost myself after the GM expressed her wishes to see me after the ceremony was over.

    It was the straw that broke the camel's back; the cable that had held me together finally snapped loudly, with a deafening sound of fatality.

    I would have expected myself to be able to deal with such unexpected situations. But I suppose that the suffering for the past two weeks had taken their toll on me.

    I suffered, and this was hardly an exaggeration. The praying and the bowing, the clothes, the smell, all these were perfectly acceptable to me. It has a proven fact that women have a greater threshold of physical and mental pain than men.

    But this… this goes beyond any known plane for measuring pain… it is in a different dimension altogether.

    I feel an urge to scream every single minute.

    I try to venture close to him, only to be scolded, gently though, by his creased brow, anxious expression and silently mouthed words.

    But I crave for him more than I ever had before. I can't sleep at night, tossing and turning while longing to bury myself in his strong arms.

    I'm like a child without her old smelly but trusty comfort pillow… what was I to do?

    I have to keep up a front at the very least. Even as I'm shaking inside from the withdrawal symptoms of him… I mustn't show it… for I know that he feels the same way. It wouldn't be fair to him if I were to break down in front of all these fanatics so easily, when he's been trying fiercely to stay tough.

    When he's gritting his teeth and clenching his fists to stop himself from going insane as well.

    I nod my head and pretended to believe his reassurance. No… maybe I _wanted_ to believe him.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*Q*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

    A wave of dizziness hits me the moment I saw D… or Damien as Celestine later told us. This weird dizziness always returns whenever he steps more than a metre close to me, which fortunately wasn't too often.

    Even when he tried to restrain Seifer and me, there wasn't much force used, only a polite request for us to put out our hands as the guards bound them together. However, Zell had an entirely different set of treatment, having first been shocked unconscious with a buzz stick, then punched squarely in the face, jaw and elbowed viciously in the stomach. We could hardly stand watching it as he was pummelled as if he was nothing more than a punching bag. Both of us wanted to rush up and pull his attackers off, but we were already held firmly by the bodyguards. On second thought… they looked more like bouncers to me. I kept screaming for them to stop… and eventually they did. A great relief and at the same time, a seething fury rose up my throat from my chest… how could they treat us in such a way? Keeping us bound and beating Zell up like that?

    What added more to the agitation was that we, holding the prestigious position as SeeDs… had to watch and bear with such a gross injustice… without the ability to hit back.

    Lack of training had rendered us powerless in their brutal hands, and I suspect our meagre diet had a hand in this as well. They were pretty smart, now that you think about it. First of all, there was the quasi-hypnotising chants to the Great Mother repeated for hours at end; deprivation of basic needs such as food, sleep and socialisation; promise of great rewards like great health, eternal youth and I couldn't care what else. On top of that, stripping any potential rebels of their physical strength and freedom.

    It was enough to make any grown man (or woman) cry, even strenuously trained and qualified SeeDs like us. Granted, we didn't exactly cry, but it was pretty close, believe me.

    I'm sure that it wouldn't be very hard to imagine how drained I was when I found out from Xu that backup from the Garden wouldn't be available until three days later.

    THREE DAYS? One would have thought that she'd just asked me to go jump off a thirty-storey building, from my devastated expression. Okay, that was taking it a little too far, but I felt like a marathon runner after a three-day jog without replenishing the liquids. Entirely devoid of strength even to stand up.

    The only semblance of comfort I had, I derived it from my old clothes, and Seifer, of course. At least we didn't need to force ourselves to stay apart, now that the cover was blown.

    I had to confront the situation instead of moping around, sooner or later. So I might as well do it now.

    _Time to get a grip on yourself, girl! _I managed a weak attempt at reviving my morale, but it'll have to do for now.

    After some acting and edible make-up, we finally found our way out of the cell… but intuition tells me that things could not have been so easy, given the mischievous nature Hyne possess.

    Why is it that bad intuition always rings true, especially in the worst situations?

    We came face to face with Damien at the gate, as if he had known all along that we would have tried to escape from our cell. The fact that our actions had been so easily guessed by him makes me want to rip his throat off. He seems to be toying with us… and I'm darn sure of that. Nobody toys with us and gets away lightly!

    _This one sure needs some help. He has too much pent up rage, frustration and who knows what else!_

_   Some smart girl probably dumped him or something. Serves him right!_

    That may sounds pretty malicious to you. Well… I can be a bitch when I'm pissed off… and I know it makes me look like a hypocrite. Someone had dumped me just a few months ago, and by right I should have sympathised with him. But… my point was… no matter what the reason, one should not turn to the dark side. It has nothing to do with hypocrisy!

    There I go, defending myself again. To whom? Sometimes I'd like to know that myself.

    They exchange some talk, about an A, while Damien keeps taunting him. I could see that they weren't exactly strangers with each other. From what little I could grasp from it, Zell knew a girl related to Damien. This was all getting too baffling for me…

     "Who's A? Zell, did you know D somewhere before? Are you hiding something from us?" I demanded.

     "Yeah, Chicken-wuss. This is all new to us!" Seifer couldn't stand it as well, not knowing of what they were talking about.

     "Sorry, guys. I'll explain later. I've some scores to settle with this D. Alone." Zell could only throw this at us.

    I wasn't the least bit satisfied with it… but I could see that he wanted to resolve the feud once and for all. I couldn't very well interrupt him by asking him to explain himself, could I?

    The battle between Damien and Zell began soon after that.

    I egged Zell on at the side, wordlessly of course, as I sure as hell didn't want to distract him

    _Go on, Zell! Beat him up good. He really deserves it for roughing you up!_

    Seifer kept giving me strange looks when he saw me clenching my fists, my mouth moving and yet without a sound coming out.

    To my surprise and horror, Zell seemed to be no match for Damien… he could hardly harm a single hair of the dark-winged one with his magic attacks. It doesn't take a lot of brainpower to guess the reason. Zell's magic stats were at most 202 even with +60% Magic and 100 Ultimas junctioned… which isn't that strong, since his opponent obviously had very high Spirit, Magic and Vitality Stats… maybe stats that broke the human limit of 255… gathering from the shock so visible on Zell's face after he used the scan spell.

    Zell finally managed to draw blood with the "Apocalypse" magic. But clearly it troubles him to use it, for his face glazes over with sorrow after he shouted the name of the spell.

    If I'm not wrong… this girl, must have had something to do with the change that had come over him. I definitely have to wheedle or force him to tell us what happened… no matter he wants it or not.

    Damien appeared rather furious at the attack, yelling at Zell and calling him low for using the attack that killed "Celestine." So that's the girl's real name. I think I could guess what had happened.

    His retaliation was devastating… an attack named "Dark Angel Beam" that sapped a large portion of Zell's Hp away.

    The dread I had felt during Ultimecia's last battle returned in full force… when the impending end of our party loomed up ominously as I fell unconscious.

    _Zell's going to die!_ I gazed wild-eyed at Seifer.

    We wanted to rush to his aid. His yell simply stopped us in our tracks. Zell had never yelled at me before… and it sure as Hyne indicated the gravity of the situation.

    Touching the precious stone hanging around his neck, he appeared to regain some of his strength, and unleashed his special moves.

     _Yes!_ I wanted to shout with triumph as I saw Damien down on one knee, his mouth dripping blood. _We can go home now!_

    I turned to Seifer to share my joy.

    He stared straight ahead, his mouth open but soundless. He wanted to shout… I didn't know what it was.

    Following his line of vision, the only thing I recall seeing was a mass of black coming at devastating speed, aimed at Zell.

    I was immobilized. All of us were.

    A stunning flash of light exploded from the piece of sapphire on Zell's neck. It was warm, comforting, and saturated with love. I closed my eyes upon receipt of it, revelling in its sensation.

    I felt thoroughly cleansed, spiritually uplifted.

    Bliss settled over me. A smile spread widely over my face while my heart felt so full with gratitude that I could hardly contain it.

    Someone had formed a shield over Zell, repelling the dark attack far away like the way a baseball batter hits a homerun.

    That would be the Angel we all love and know, Celestine.

    My first impression of her at that time was… she seems familiar too.

    I wonder at that.

    It is a question that lingers in my head and refuses to be chased away.

--------*Q*--------

     "Hey Quisty… you've still got some ketchup left on your forehead!" Seifer remarked.

    I know he must be laughing hysterically at me inside… and he barely hides it. This was no surprise, considering that he hadn't been able to conceal it when I had first donned this "edible make-up".

     "What? Damn… it'll be hard to get rid of the smell too!" I wiped at the portion of the skin that had smeared with the red sauce a few hours ago to make my "injury" appear more convincing.

     "C'mere… let me show you where it is." He grabbed my napkin and threw it away.

     "HEY! That was my only napkin! How am I supposed to… just what in Hyne's name are you trying to do?"

    He had started _licking_ my forehead… ewwwww!

     "All the better to taste you with, my dear. Now don't give me such a look. You know you enjoy it!"

     "I do not!"

     "How about this?" He started covering the whole face with light, feathery kisses.

      "Seifer, stop it! We're in public eye!" I protested, pushing him away. But actually… I did enjoy it.

     "Oh, does that mean that you'd allow it if we were alone in our dorms?" His eyebrows were raised suggestively.

     "Stop twisting my words! Everything must wait until we report back to the Garden!" I couldn't face him at all… cos I just know that my face must be on fire.

     "Alright, but I'll bet Squall and the others will be back tomorrow, since the root of their missions would probably be taken care of by Zell."

     "I suppose so." I thought for a moment, and found his words to be quite plausible.

     "Now… I've been wanting to do this for ages." He started sealing my mouth with his.

     "Seif…" I was cut off by his sudden movement, inhaling sharply as his pliant tongue introduced itself into my mouth and started teasing mine.

    Finally submitting to the wanting sensation that raged in my body, I fell yieldingly into his arms as he crushed me in a snug embrace against his muscular chest……

* * *

    Quisty: I thought that the title was supposed to be "Ketchup on my forehead?"

    WL: Your partner couldn't accept it and pressed me to change it to the current one. Now under our terms of contract, I will be able to lend the space I had leashed you to another party.

    Quisty: What? Where in the contract does it state this? Why didn't I know of this?

    WL: Because you never read the fine print. It says: "The afore mentioned parties will agree that if either of the undersigned parties changes the previously agreed title of any chapter of said story, the said landlord will have the right to lend the space of subsequent chapters to other parties without consent from the tenants."

    Quisty: Damn you to hell!

    WL: Don't worry… I already have a place there. You needn't reserve one especially for me.

    Quisty turns to Seifer: The Estharian Mission, indeed! What kind of stupid title is that? Why didn't you consult me beforehand?

    Seifer rolls his eyes at no one in particular and storms off in exasperation.

    Quisty: What's the meaning of this? How can you walk out on me while I'm still talking? Blah blah blah blah blah….

    WL: Hahahhaha!!

    Celestine: You'd be held responsible if they break up.

    WL: This is all because of you. You were the one who itches for some action.

     Celestine: Oh puh-leeeease! Don't make me a scapegoat for your own perverted desires.

Author's notes: That was long enough…. This story actually comprised of two chapters, but I missed the point of separation and so I've decided to combine both chapters. Yep… you've guessed it. Originally, the second chapter (or rather the fourteenth one) was titled "Ketchup on my forehead".

    Oh well… till the next time… reviews… keep them coming!


	14. That Girl of Zell's

+Chapter 14 – That girl of Zell's

    Author's Notes: Thank you for that encouraging piece of review, Prodigy. This fic is so lame that I can't stomach it myself… but being kind-hearted people, no one has pointed that out so far. The number of reviews was a good indication, though. I guess I had better stick to my third persons… damn… not like I'm so good at those either. I seriously need to take a break and buff up on my ideas and writing before I continue on another fic… Meanwhile… please bear with me while I try my best to make the remaining chapters of this one as good as possible. I just hope I don't screw up again.

   As always, I urge you to write me some reviews… even if it's criticisms. I need them to improve, you know? Thanks a million. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

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--------Q--------

     "Hey, Celestine! Wait a minute!" I called out to the willowy girl walking in front of me along the main corridor.

    I had been looking for her, which wasn't a difficult task. It's not just her unique hair colour and tall figure, but also because of the aura she gives off and the way she practically floats even as she tries hard to walk normally. She always manages to attract attention towards herself, even as she desperately wants to remain inconspicuous.

    She recognises my voice and turns in delight, a wide smile extending from cheek to cheek while her eyes lit up along with it.

    This girl of Zell's was consistently friendly each time I see her, always having a smile for everyone whom she meets; from the cleaning lady to the elderly guard at the gates. This instantly makes her a hit among us, for who could resist a girl who charms all with her honest gaze and who seems to reach out to everyone? There wasn't a trace of falseness in her… and we liked that. 

    Come to think of it, she was a little like Sefie actually, only less grating on the nerves when you're having a pounding headache. Maybe it was due to the fundamental differences between them as well. I had often caught myself sensing a tinge of sorrow hidden in her eyes beneath her sunny smile. It was a fleeting thought… and yet I believe I was right.

    "Hiya… Quis! Looking for me?" Her eyes twinkled in a warm light that I always thought was particularly reserved for me. Was I flattering myself? I hope not, for it seems that she takes a special liking to me as well. And did I ever mention that I loved the way she says my name?

     "That's right. I need to have a talk with you. If you don't mind, could we have a chat over lunch?"

     "Of course I won't mind! Rarely do we get a chance to lunch together! Now that the men are out on mission… we can at least find some time to catch up with each other!"

     "Great! I'll meet you at the cafeteria entrance at twelve noon!" I returned her smile with a grateful grin. Was I afraid that she would reject the invitation? Hmm…

     "Okay! I won't be late. See you then!" She floated towards her destination, presumably the Training Centre, since she was wearing her physical training kit of sleeveless cropped tee and running shorts. It looks to me that these days, everyone's breaking the rules by training in there alone… well as long as no one gets hurt, I won't be so severe (and stupid!) as to squeal on them.

     _Someday, I'm going to ask her to train with me. It must be quite an eye-opening experience, I'm sure… if what we saw at the Shrine of the Great Mother was anything to go by…_

--------Q--------

    **_Eleven forty-five a.m._**

    I looked at my watch and found myself left with ample time on my hands. I sat at the bench opposite the entrance of the cafeteria and started going through in my mind what I would be asking her… and how to phrase it.

    "Hey, Quis! I'm sorry that I'm late! Have you been waiting long?" Her voice sounded above my head. I looked up to meet her large pair of sapphires, which were filled with apology. My reputation of intolerance for unpunctuality must have reached her ears as well… should I be glad or regretful that I had made that kind of impression on other people?

    Shaking my head to clear the drifting thoughts, I looked at my watch to find that it was only two minutes to noon.

     "You're aren't the least bit late, Celestine. I was too early. Recently, I've been starting to think that it's a bad habit to be too early!"

     "No, it isn't! People can always count on you to be on time! They like to rely on you. Although…" Her sentence trailed off. Maybe she was unwilling to say what was on her mind for fear of offending me?

     "You can tell me. I promise not to be angry. I'm not THAT petty!" I chastised her with a shaking finger and a half-disapproving, half-smiling face (if that's even possible, but I managed to do it…)

     "Haha… that wasn't what I had wanted to imply, Quis. I think you place too much burden on yourself, that's all."

     "Too much burden on myself…?" I mumbled.

     "Come on, let's grab a seat first." She walked towards an empty table with a tray in hand. As usual, the crowd at the cafeteria stared at the ethereal beauty while automatically parting to give way to her. Such was the extent of her grace and influence on them.

     As we set our lunches down, I was still mulling over her words.

     "Quis, no one actually expects you to always bear the responsibility. You should learn to rely on others for help as well." She took a tiny sip of her water.

      "You have a point there. It's just that… I've acted this way ever since I was a kid. I felt that I had to take care of everything… I suppose it kinda made me feel important… and needed."

     "Yeah… I know…." She said softly… but sure enough she had said it.

     "How did you know? We were so little then. Were you there along with us?" Finally, I can somehow breach the issue that had been occupying my mind for so long.

     "Quis, did Zell ever tell you what I was?" She asked, an uneasy look on her face.

     "He didn't specifically say it out, but we could guess. You're sort of his Guardian Angel?"

     "Yes, that's right. But did he tell you since when?"

     "No." I shook my head. Zell hadn't told us very much about his girl, now that I think about it.

     "He didn't because his memories of me were faded. But actually, I started looking after him since he was three, at the orphanage. Which means that I've seen you guys as well."

     "Ah…" I gasped, putting my hand to my mouth. "That explains a lot." I said, relieved that the question was resolved…. well, at least part of it was.

     _And relieved that the familiar feeling wasn't just in your mind, aren't you?_

     "You have something else on your mind." She stated. Not asked, stated.

     "Was it that obvious?" I looked at her in surprise.

     "No… I've been around longer than you know, and these things come easier to me."

     "I see… there's this other question that's been sort of hanging at the back of my mind… I don't really know how to put it…"

     "Does it have something to do with Damien?"

     "You can sense that as well?" I asked, astonished.

     "No… HaHaHa… you make me sound like some sort of freak! It was only an educated guess."

     "So… what I'm asking is… was Damien 'related' to me in some way? Cos I felt a strange dizziness when he was around, over at the Great Mother's Shrine."

     "Great Mother eh? That's what Zell told you, or rather, what he didn't tell you…" She looked away for a moment, and a rapid flash of something travelled across her face… I couldn't quite catch what it was.

     "Celestine?'

     "Oops… sorry. Just had to tuck a stray thought away. You were asking about Damien?"

    I nodded, wondering if the stray thought had something to do with Zell.

     "Damien has the same relationship to you what I had with Zell. Without the love, of course." She waited expectantly for my reaction.

     "Meaning to say…" I couldn't continue, unable to accept the truth just yet… although I must have guessed a part of it given all those obvious clues.

     "He was your Guardian Angel. And Seifer's as well before he chose you as his Lady. The dizziness you had experienced before was in relation to his conflicting loyalties."

     "But why?"

     "Why did he turn on Zell in such a way? It was mostly my fault." She looked up at the ceiling, blinking rapidly to stop something from coming out.

     "Your fault?" I was awfully puzzled, having not a bit of understanding at what she was saying.

     "It's really a private matter. I wouldn't think he's willing to let you know it from my mouth. Why don't you ask him yourself?" She finally looked down and straight at me.

     "Ask him myself?"

     "Don't you want to meet him? He has been guarding over you and Seifer again from the time he returned to Angel Land after the incident."

    I was at a loss for words. The turn of events had come faster than I could handle. And yet… I was sorely tempted as well.

     "Why don't you discuss this with Seifer when he returns tomorrow? I'm sure that would make it easier for you to decide."

     "But is it really okay for him to meet us like this? I mean, an Angel can't appear in front of humans as and when he likes, can he? You're an exception, I know… but…" I was typically full of reservations.

    "Quis, you really shouldn't worry so much. Just tell us what you want, and we'll do our best to fulfil it. As for Damien… Angel Land has relaxed the rules quite fairly… and you've seen him before anyway, so there's really no harm to it." She gave another one of her broad smiles.

     "Thanks a lot, Celestine. I'll discuss with Seifer. I'm sure he'd be as eager as I am to meet Damien."

     "He's been literally begging me to arrange a meeting… ooh now he's making an angry face at me!"

     "He's here?" I looked around, but saw nothing.

     "He's concealed his presence… much better at it than I was." She said in a sheepish tone.

     "Oh." I felt a little odd. "Well, I guess I have to get going for my next lesson."

     "Sure, you go ahead. I had a great time, thanks! Oh, I'll clear the trays. You mustn't be late."

     "I owe you much, Celestine." I gave her a final look, which I hoped was sincere enough.

     "Now don't say that! Bye! End of conversation!"

     "Bye!" I waved and trotted out of the cafeteria in a hurry.

------------------------------------------------*Celestine*----------------------------------------------------

    I looked around the cafeteria. It was pretty empty, since lunch hour was over ten minutes ago.

    "You can come out now." I told him.

    Damien materialised in the seat that Quis had vacated earlier.

     "Celestine, I can't thank you enough." He looked at me with such gratitude that I just had to turn my head away.

        **_Lately… it had been getting harder to face him, knowing how much hurt I had caused._**

**_        How had I known about it, since he obviously wouldn't have said it to me?_**

**_        Zell had hinted at it a little by telling me to cut him some slack._**

**_        And one fine day, Tanya, Squall's Angel, had come up to me and said as much._**

**_        "He loves you! Stop treating him like dirt!" _**

**_         She shouted with a voice evidently hoarse from crying, eyes all puffy and red. _**

**_         Looking at me for a long time, she opened and closed her mouth many times, but couldn't find any words to blame me with… in the end she just gave up with a shuddered breath and walked away desolately._**

**_        I wanted to run after her and plea with her to scold me, and hit me even. But for no apparent reason at all, my feet were rooted to the spot._**

     "It wasn't much…" I muttered, shaking my head to chase the memory away.

     "Why won't you look at me anymore?" Anger was prominent in his tone.

     "I… I'm sorry for what I did to you…" I finally found the courage to look into his violet eyes with quite a bit of effort. I'd missed looking at them, as I had missed those sibling-like talks I used to have with him before it all went awry…

     His face changed immediately to a surprised one, indicating that he was caught off-guard by my words. Then it melted with sorrow.

     "I don't need an apology at all…" He said, his voice full of pain… I wanted so much to take it away… but no one had ever taught me how to…

    _Hyne… why does this have to happen to him? I feel like the greatest sinner in a thousand years. How can I lessen the pain for him? If only I was the one bearing it…If only I hadn't said all those harsh words…I'm the greatest fool there ever was…_

     "I know, whatever I say now can do nothing to rectify the wrongs…" My voice hovered dangerously on its breaking point as the weight of my guilt leaned heavily on it.

     "There are neither wrongs nor rights in matters of the heart, Celestine. Even if it's rejection in the cruellest form…" 

    He sighed; supporting his face with a hand propped up on an elbow and looked at me with resignation written all over it. 

     "The only thing I need now is for things to return to normal. Even if you do not love me the way I do, I still cherish the closeness we shared before."

     "You do? It doesn't suck that I can't return your feelings?"

     "Of course it sucks, but that's the way life is. No one ever said it was going to be easy. The only difference is how you take the challenges Hyne throws out to you. It would take a lot more than a rejected love to bring me down, you hear?"

    _Why does he have to be so nice to me? It makes me hate myself even more… and if I were to tell this to him, he would probably scold me for thinking in such a way…_

    I looked up at him tearfully.

     "Why do you show that kind of expression? It's not like the end of the world is impending! People are going to think that I was bullying you, you know? Be good, give me one of your super smiles!"

    I turned the ends of my mouth up a little.

" Needs a lot more sun in it… but it'll suffice for the time being. Now… I had better go protect my Lady if you'll excuse me." He stood up, ruffled my hair like I was his kid sister, and vanished into the air.

     "Oh, and Celestine. Zell never told them about your mother only because he doesn't want to cause necessary uneasiness among your friends. Don't reproach him for it. Ask him about it by all means, but keep that accusing tone of yours out of the way. He has a big burden to bear." Damien's voice echoed in my mind.

     "Who says that you can sense my thoughts?" I shouted at him, shaking my fist in the air.

     "Now, that's more like the little sister I know!" He laughed, and floated away towards Quis' direction.

* * *

    Zell: (Shakes his head) Women!

    WL: What's wrong, Zell Zell?

    Z: (Surprised) I thought you said you'd never see me again?

    WL: WHAT? AFTER THE MANY TIMES I HAD APPEARED THEN YOU ASK THIS KIND OF QUESTION? Anyway… that was in the previous story. Why, do you loathe me this much?

    Z: No… just surprised, that's all.

    WL: What was that you were muttering about women?

    Z: You don't tell your friends about her Mother, she interrogates you about it. If you do, I suspect she'll yell at you for being a blab.

    WL: Suspect, eh? That means you aren't sure of it. You were talkin' about Celestine, I gather?

    Z: Yeah. (Head dips a little low.) I can't seem to please her.

    WL: She's an Angel, but she has her moods too.

    Z: Moods?

    WL: She finds out about Damien's feelings for her, and reproaches herself for everything that happened because of that. Most deeply, she blames herself for the hurt that resulted in him, and the injuries you sustained.

    Z: I never knew that!

    WL: Go talk to her. She needs it, even if she doesn't say it out.

    Z: Thanks.

    WL smiles sadly at him and acknowledges with a nod.

    Z: Why are you sad?

    WL: You don't need or want to know.

    Z: Okay… bye.

    Zell runs out of there in search of Celestine.

    Water Lily reaches out a hand… but drops it when he disappears from her sight.

    WL: He's right… WOMEN!

Author's notes: I like describing people. Even though it doesn't show in terms of skill… Heh.

   And I shouldn't have added to the confusion by pulling in Celestine's voice as well… but it was necessary for the next step.


	15. Everlasting Vows

Chapter 15 – Everlasting Vows

    Author's Notes: First of all… I must say a big thank you to Quistis88 (I hope I got it right…) who has been reviewing every single time I put up a new chapter… I'm truly touched… if only all of you could be like this. But I suppose it isn't fair of me to expect that of everyone else (since I'm not as nice myself), HeHe.

    So… regardless of the pitiful number of reviews and the downward spiralling of my fic… I will continue to put in my best. It might not be as good as I had hoped, and I write this with a risk of sounding narcissistic… but damn it! I still love my fic very much, even though I had some doubts along the way. I hope you like it too… and please show it by giving your reviews!! Oooh… there goes the thick-skinned me again. Well… here's wishing you a Happy New Year!

* * *

========S========

    A lot has happened since I was away on mission. Quisty has filled me in on the details, about Celestine, as well as our relation with Damien.

    I was rather eager to meet Damien, in fact. Even though he had subjected us to cell treatment before, it wasn't the real him. I should know how people behave when they were under manipulation. Yes, I know that no excuse is good enough to justify hurting others, whether or not it was on your own will… but still, I think he deserves a little more credit, for he had turned over a new leaf since then, so to speak.

    However, I am not saying this on my own behalf, for it would be stretching the truth to think that him and I were on the same grounds. We were not, by any account.

    Anyway, if Celestine's praises of him were anything to go by, he must be a saint of some sort. Coming from one with virtually zero flaws such as her, I was more convinced than ever that it would be a great loss of ours if we declined the invitation to see him.

    And here we are, gathered at the flower field at our lighthouse orphanage. It seems that this was the place and time Damien had first met us.

    This place… one filled with so many of our memories, sad and happy.

      "Stand right in the middle. Don't be too shocked if he suddenly appears." Celestine instructed, and retreated from our sight to join Zell in the living room.

    Slowly, the form of our Guardian Angel appeared amidst the swaying flowers. They seemed to be drawn towards his direction, as if clamouring for his touch, despite being kept away by the wind.

    He smiled kindly at us, floating a little above ground as he extended his wings in full.

    The expression on his face was gentle and benevolent… like what you would have expected from an Angel.

    Of course, this isn't to say that Celestine _doesn't_ look like an Angel to us, but you have to understand – they were so different in appearance, character and in the impression they gave us that one couldn't possibly compare them both. To me, Celestine would appear to be more like us… maybe this could be attributed to the time she had spent mingling with humans, compared to Damien. I really can't explain it.

    Damien, on the other hand, appeared almost like a character plucked out from a tale of fantasy, or from the myths of legend… having features so fine that it seemed impossible that he was a man, and yet no one could miss the air of gallantry that surrounded him. An invisible yet palpable glow radiated from within, gracing upon all around him.

    His hair was very much like spun white-gold threads that reached from his crown to the tips of his shoulders, floating around his head as if forming a smooth shield around it. As the breeze passed through the strands danced around in a teasing way, framing his face as they did.

    And who could forget about the wings? I could hardly tear my glance away from them, so special in colour they were. The feathers would have matched his hair if not for their iridescent quality. They seemed to change from white-gold to a light champagne, to silver, then back to white-gold again as they fluttered and swished about in the wind. Sure, the change was subtle and if you weren't observant enough, you might have missed it… but that would be someone without yours truly's eagle eye, hehe.

    At last, my gaze travelled to his eyes… violet pupils that were crystal clear and brimming with such intelligence. I could almost see my whole reflection inside. The kaleidoscopic effect amazed me, as the pupils caught the rays of the sun and created colourful prisms of various colours in them.

    If he was a girl, I knew that I would be a gone case in front of such beauty… oops… DO _not_ let Quisty hear that… it was a BIG if, okay?

    How very different from the D who captured us at the Great Mother's Shrine. He had put on a cold, hard face then, everything turned black including his hair, eyes, and wings. His eyes especially, were clouded over with the even darker feelings breeding in his heart and mind, his soul lost in a maze.

    We had caught a little of his transformation back to his "Good" side while we were about to leave the Shrine of the Great Mother, but it wasn't complete then, and neither were we in full view of him. And there was something different about him too… there was a more determined, purposeful look in his eyes, and on his face, which was absent then.

     "I thank you both from the bottom of my heart for agreeing to meet me. I was rather afraid that you would decline it without a second thought… after what I had made you go through." He said in a lilting voice after a moment's silence, presumably to let us get used to his appearance.

     "It goes both ways." I returned his thanks, while Quisty stared at him in awe.

     "Hey, Quisty… quit staring at him as if he were an alien." I nudged her a little.

     "Oh… I'm terribly sorry." She was in a fluster after realising that she had been gawking in such an unladylike manner. Oh… I really shouldn't smirk at her like that… I know, but if you were in my shoes, you would understand the urge, eh?

     "You look different from the earlier impression I had of you…"

     "Really? That's marvellous, I suppose?" He gave out a pleasantly hearty laugh, which immediately relaxed the atmosphere. It had been a little tensed up before, as both sides were unsure of how to react.

     "I have a question that's boggling my mind, which Celestine refuses to answer no matter how I badger her about it. She tells me to ask you directly instead." Quisty decided to take the straightforward approach. Bravo. I want to applaud her courage.

    I squeezed her hand to relay my encouragement and praise for her. I felt her return the gesture, as if thanking me for it.

     "Go ahead. The sky's the limit." He replies, spreading his arms out in support of his words.

     "…What made you turn against us… and more importantly… against Zell in such a way?"

    _Yes! _I wanted to shout in relief. _The most difficult question has been done away with!_

    His smile faltered a little, as did his voice.

     "Thank Goodness I've come prepared for this. I know that you've been meaning to ask it."

     "Celestine also said that she was mostly to blame for it. This was the part that stumped me the most." Quisty added, trying to ease the answer out of him as gently as possible. I think she has the potential to be a first-class psychiatrist, or family counsellor. But then again, the Instructor license she holds wasn't for nothing.

     "Don't listen to her! That's not even a half-truth! If anyone's to be blamed, it's me." His head lowered a little, finding it hard to get the words out.

     "I do not know if you've noticed it, but I've been in love with Celestine for a long time.

      And my feelings for her blinded my vision, especially when she sacrificed herself for Zell's life.

      I thought that it was Zell who had caused her death; that without him, she would still have been alive. It was a foolish thought, and I had thrown all my years of Angel training to waste with such a mindset.

      I changed, letting the frustration, hate, resentment, and mostly, despair wash over me, and take over my control.

     It took her resurrection, and many slaps from her for me to wake up from the hell I had made for myself with those negative feelings."

    He looked up at us finally, with a smile still, but melancholy glazing his eyes over.

    "I can identify with that." I stepped up to him and patted him on the shoulder. "Don't reproach yourself, Damien."

     "Yes. It only goes to show how deep your love for her was. The important thing that matters is that you turned to the right path again." Quisty added. "And I'm sorry that for a moment, I had thought badly of you… but now I have only admiration and respect."

     "My utmost gratitude goes out to you, my Master and my Lady. You are my saviours, and your gracious words shall accompany me to my deathbed."

    He kneels down in front of us, both hands clasped in front of his chest as if he were praying.

     "There's really no need for such a grave formality! Get up, Damien!" I hastened towards him, trying to get him to stand up.

    He refuses to budge from his position.

     "Allow me to pledge my loyalty towards you before I stand.

       I, Damien Silvergrace, swear upon my life to bestow my gratitude upon My Master, Seifer Almasy, and My Lady, Quistis Trepe. All my living days shall be spent guarding over them, and their future generations to come.

      Dear Great Lord, and Greatest Creator of us, Hyne, witness this solemnisation and bless these two with eternal happiness.

      Praise Thee Lord."

    He performed the full kowtow, placing his face upon the ground, arms and legs stretched out fully on it.

    Quistis and I could only watch dumbfounded and helplessly… overwhelmed by his sudden oath to become our eternal guardian.

     "That was really too much, Damien. How can we accept such an invaluable gift? But we thank you from the bottom of our hearts that you were willing to give your life to us as our Angel." Quistis says softly, moved visibly by his act.

     "You do not need to thank your humble Angel, my Lady. It is always our aim to find a Master/Lady worthy to lay his life down for. Celestine found hers in Zell, and I found mine in you. Even if it were in a slightly different nature, I know I will not regret doing this."

     "Well then, if it means anything, you can come to us for help when and if you need it." I gave my meagre offering to him.

     "That's the best I can ever expect from you."

     "Oh yeah… before you fade away, could you agree to one last request from me?" I spoke urgently, for he looked like he was going to fly off any minute, which wouldn't bode well for what I was planning to do.

     "Sure!" He said, while looking questioningly at me.

    The same expression was reflected on Quisty's face.

    I wonder what it would look like after I've thrown this "bomb" at her. Ha.

     "Would you witness this for us?" I said, taking a small cushiony box out of my pocket.

    There was a "now-I-get-it" look on his face, followed by a broad grin.

     "It would be my immense honour, my Master."

    I turned to faced Quisty, who had such a confused look that I could hardly stop the chortling that was about to erupt from my insides… oh how they ached with the burden…

    I knelt down onto the ground on one knee, while holding the opened ring box for her to see. The classic proposal pose, without the flowers… I figured that since we were in a flower field, the need for them would be done away with.

     "Will you, Quistis Trepe, the one and only woman in my life, agree to be my fiancée? Will you accept this vow of mine, to protect you, cherish you, and shower you with1 my everlasting love until the end of my days?" 

    She gasped, looking at the diamond ring, then at me, then at it again.

      "Well, your answer would be?" A small frisson of fear snaked up my chest as the time dragged on. My heart felt as if it was at the very top of my throat, pumping with strenuous effort.

    _Oh, I just **love** this suspense, Quistis Trepe_… I muttered to myself. _Damn, maybe I should have gotten the flowers as well…_

     "Y…yes! Of course it's yes, you silly man!" She covered her face with her hands, trying to hide the tearing eyes from view.

     "R…really? Yes!! She's agreed! I've succeeded!" I shouted as the relief coursed through my body, taking the ring out from the box and sliding it onto her finger.

     "Seifer!" She placed both her arms around my neck, still unable to stem the tears.

    I lifted her off the ground and swung her round and round in ecstasy.

    Glittery angel dust started raining on us as our Angel added his way of congratulating us, then slowly fades away, leaving us to our blissful little world…

========Celestine========

     "You look happy." I remarked as I saw Damien appear in the living room, his face the epitome of joy.

     "You'll see when the time comes." He says, deliberately maintaining a veil of secrecy.

     "I can guess what happened." Zell said with a loud laugh. "Cos I was the one who went with him! HaHaHa!!"

     "Ah, and you managed to keep it under covers. Good for you!" Damien commented.

     "What's this funny business going around with the two of you? Out with it!" I demanded, looking fiercely at either of them.

     "It won't take long before the truth reveals itself. Be patient!" Zell said with an insolent grin.

     "Patience was never one of my virtues!" I growled, and was about to do something violent when the couple outside burst in, thereby hindering the process.

      "Look at this, Celestine!" Quis held up her ring for all to see.

     "So that was what you've been hinting at!" I exclaimed, looking at Zell with daggers in my eyes.

    "I'm so happy for you, Quis!" I went up and gave her a hug.

     "Let's go and spread the good news to the rest!" Zell jumped up from his seat and was out in a flash.

    _That blockhead is getting more and more cunning these days… I wonder who taught him to be so…_I mused to myself while running the possible culprits in my mind, which came up to two of them._ Oh well, I guess I'll just have to brainwash him again… hahaha._

    The rest (except Damien) followed him out.

      "I'm happy for you too." I threw a line into the room as the couple walked out, their arms around each other.

* * *

    Author's Notes: Before I post the next (last) chapter, there's something I desperately need to know.

    I won't post it until I get at least two reviews saying if you guys want this series to continue, or if it is too damn long already. If I do not get anything, then by god it will stay hanging in the air like this (or I will write it according to my wishes… make sure you don't regret it.)

    This is not blackmail. Rather, it's more like a feedback kind of thing to enhance supplier-consumer relationship. (Laugh) Excuse my business-sounding terms, as I'm studying as I write this.

    Alright, the line's been cast; I'm waiting for your answer. I will give the deadline until next Wednesday, which happens to be New Year's Day… heehee! On that day, the majority shall win. After that, no further requests will be entertained.

    Just in case you're wondering, I've got endings for both scenarios down pat. So it's up to you which one you prefer. (Though I do have to say, they aren't very different.)

   Thanks to all you readers, especially those who've reviewed. If you read and don't review… well nothing much I can do except say that at least you have the patience to read up to here, so still thanks anyway… oh boy there goes my long-windedness again.

   Adios, Amigos! Till the next chapter… 


	16. Shock

Chapter 16 – Shock

    A/N: Oh man, you guys are so great… I'm awfully touched with your reviews… so here's a New Year's Present for you… completed on the stroke of midnight on 31.12.2002, no less… Thank you, all of you!

    Oh… this is going to be a short one… (obviously) since it's sole purpose is to create an ending for this fic… but no way am I going to stop here… please be assured cos I would never dream of disappointing the Almighty Reader (bows in gratitude). Enjoy, and Happy 2003!!!

* * *

--------*Q*--------

    I tossed and turned in my bed as gently as I could possibly manage, mindful of the presence of another lying beside me.

    Lately, I've been plagued by nightmares of the gruesome kind… well the impression it gave me was bloody, but the actual scenes remain unclear when I wake from it. I suppose I should be grateful for that, for whatever bloodshed I had faced during my missions was quite enough for me already.

    It affects me badly, and everyone with a functioning mouth had asked in concern about my health. But none of us knew anything about what was happening to me.

    This drives me stark raving mad! At least, very soon it will turn me into a screaming lunatic with dishevelled hair and all.

     "What's the matter, darling? Can't sleep again?" Seifer stirs from his sleep and props up an elbow to look at me.

     "Yeah… Did I wake you up? I'm sorry." I turned my body to face him, noticing to my anxiety that dark circles were forming under his eyes as well. He hadn't been sleeping well of late too, due to my incessant tossing and turning, and at times disturbed by the heavy sighs that escape from me as I stared at the ceiling above me.

     "It's alright, baby." His arms enclosed my body and I find myself pressed against his muscular chest. Stroking my left arm with slow caresses, he kisses my forehead and tries to lull me back to sleep with his curiously flat voice. I had never known that he was tone-deaf before, his singing voice being miles away from the gorgeously deep one that was so fond of whispering sweet-nothings into my ear.

    Hardly suppressing a laugh that felt like it was going to erupt any moment, I pretended to close my eyes in response to his admirable attempt at curing my insomnia.

    The time drags on… and how it drags… the long hours that seemed to last forever, while I hoped desperately for dawn to break, or for the slumber worms to wriggle inside my mind again…

    I could hear the deep-throated snores coming from him.

    How I envy his ability to fall asleep immediately.

    Looking at him for a second longer to ascertain that he was truly in the midst of dreamland, I extracted myself from his arms like a ghost. It wouldn't do if he were to find out that I had vacated his embrace, for it would surely raise alarm bells of the "Code-Red" kind. And this was the last thing that I wanted.

    I make my way towards the bathroom… I felt an urgent need to wipe the sticky sweat off my face. Maybe it'll make the sleep come easier.

    Switching on the light, I turned the faucet on and cupped my hands to gather a pool of cool water, splashing my face with it.

    I look into the reflection.

    Shock envelopes my senses as I tried to connect the image of that reflection to myself.

    It stays with me as I climb back into bed and pulled the covers up to my chest.

    A shiver penetrates my body, even though it was so warm, and I HAD already buried myself into that thick quilt… but still it doesn't stop the goosebumps from coming out as well.

    Sleep would be more and more of a remote possibility now…

********S********

    This morning, I opened my eyes to one of the longest days of my life. I plummeted from the clouds of heaven to the deepest throes of hell.

    Never have I ever felt such despair, such misery and such a sense of loss.

    Quisty was gone.

    I searched in all the places she could possibly be.

    No sign of her at all.

    Leaving only a note in her cursive elegant script… an abrupt message.

     _"Do not look for me."_

    How can she expect me to do that?

    The only thing that occupies my mind now is a big "WHY?"

    I'll find you no matter where you are, and bring you back.

    I swear to Hyne.

    Wait for me, Quisty.

* * *

**_One night was all it took to change their course of path_**

**_One night to set the stage for the new, and paradoxically ancient evil._**

**_What is his aim, and what will happen to our dear SeeDs and their loved ones should he get his way?_**

**_It is all the more fearsome that he is an unpredictable one, such that even those presently in control of the world do not rightly know enough to stop him._**

**_The world is about to be embroiled in chaos and mass destruction._**

**_And yet……._**

* * *

**_AND YET THESE PEOPLE STILL HAVE THE MOOD TO CELEBRATE THE NEW YEAR IN SUCH DIRE TIMES!_**

**_WHAT IGNORANT (and blessed) FOOLS THEY ARE!_**

   WL: YAYAYAY!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR! WISHING ALL A GOOD 2003 AHEAD!

    Celestine: So, how does it feel to age for yet another year, o ancient one?

    WL: Stop calling me that! If you want to compare who's more ancient, why don't you look at yourself? I think the accurate age for you would be five hundred, ahahhahahahh!

    C: Well, I'm different cos I'm immortal… and my looks will stay forever young… unlike you with your fine lines and saggy skin, hahahahah!

   WL: Good, rub it in. POOR ME!!! BULLIED BY MY OWN CHARACTER!

    C: So what's you wish for 2003?

   WL: That the scientists can invent cloning of Zell Zell.

    C: Why is that so?

   WL: So that we don't have to share. I love him as much as you do, but how come you get to hog him all to yourself?

    C: But you can't clone him. The cloned Zell won't be the same, and not to mention the ethical implications… blah blah blah blah….

   WL: You just HAVE to be a wet blanket, don't you? Fine!

    Z: Say, you girls don't want any hotdogs? There won't be any left you know, after I've been through them.

   WL: No thanks. Why don't you just give me a kiss?

    Z: Can that be eaten?

    WL:!!!!! I give up!

    The countdown clock reaches ten seconds coincidentally at that time.

    Quisty: 10

    Seifer: 9

    Rinoa: 8

    Squall: 7

    Selphie: 6

    Irvine: 5

    Yuri (Girl with pigtail lah) and Nida (hah, gotcha there!): 4

    Damien: 3

    Celestine: 2

    Zell: 1

   WL: ZERO!!!! 

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

HAPPY

NEW

YEAR!!

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

  *loads of confetti fly around, every person kisses his/her other half*

    Except for Water Lily.

    WL: *Sniff sniff* Well, at least I'm the only one, so it's okay. But… if you really pity lil' old Water Lily, why don't you give her a review? Arigatou Gozaimasu!!! (Thank you very much!) We'll see you next year, and next fic! Thanks for your patience up till now!!!

P/S: I actually added that bit beginning with that "one night was all it took ……" this morning only… which is about eight hours later from the first posting. Because I thought it would be too abrupt and disruptive to continue suddenly with a New Year greeting from WL, hahahahah! I don't know if it's heavy traffic or whatever… but it took ages to load it (not to mention no fewer than ten times, cos the idiotic Microsoft Word keeps formatting my words, which in turn causes the words to go all out of alignment…grrrrrr!!)! Anyway… you wouldn't be reading this if you missed it, right? So I'll just leave it as that. Bye Byee!!


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